Born in the Tundra of Minnesota, I have since become a bit of a Gypsy. Currently calling home base the hot sands of Arizona, I do still travel often. Whether the journey is a physical one, or one taken by reading a fantastic book it doesn't matter, the fun is always in the adventure. As always I am an eclectic person that likes a wide array of things and has many passions. Creating, advocating for animals and Mothering just to name a few.


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The Purple Booker







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Jul
29
Posted by

Poetry can be a good release valve. Of course I stopped sharing it a long time ago as everyone would take what was in the poetry as a cemented thing. That isn’t how poetry works.

 

 

I looked up to you when times were bad.
I looked up to you when I was sad.

I always laughed when you were by my side,
until you went behind my back and lied.

I felt so betrayed and so alone,
and began to realize your true colors that had shown.

You hurt me so badly that nothing can compare.
You were the one with whom my secrets I thought I could share.

You helped me through bad times when people were so mean,
and now that you’re gone, I feel so deceived.

You lied to my face, one only could tell.
You left me alone; now I feel like I’m in hell.

I have no one to turn to to ask for advice.
You leaving me like this is like being squeezed by a vice.

I’m in pain; it’s not easy to see, and since you’ve been gone,
I have no one beside me.

I try to find more friends that are as fun as you,
but the more I try, I realize there is nothing more I can do.

You’re gone forever, whether you know it or not.
Me being stuck in this world alone like this, I’d rather be shot.

Goodbye forever, you ruined my ability to forgive,
and now like this for the rest of my life I shall live.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/abandon


Jul
24
Posted by

Feel the groove for this Monday! I am not feeling tip top by any means but I am trying to think positive today and hey a little sexy. Monday’s are no fun sometimes but we can try and make them a bit more fun right?


Jul
22
Posted by

 

Tell me of pain, what you know of it.
Is it to be feared, or guarded against
like a tangible foe?
Do you seek it, or merely accept it
like an unavoidable opponent?
Is it to be welcomed, with open arms
as an enabling experience?
You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.
Pain… She was my first lover
My most intimate friend,
but a demanding mistress, she is…
The more you fight her,
she more she hurts you
with no safe word in place…
As I struggled against her
she demanded more of me
until there was almost nothing left.
She encompasses me,
cloaks me in her cold embrace.
A cruel master, never meant to rule
has no limits to what she will do.
She is meant to lend you strength,
help you overcome…
If only you can harness her, hold her in check.
Many years ago she escaped her reigns;
now it is I in her shackles
I know of no escape though I must.
I am riddled with the arrows;
arrows that others aimed
that she pierces me with,
each taking a slice of my soul.
Soon there will be nothing remaining;
only a vacant shell in which I once dwelled…


Jul
17
Posted by

Another Monday another day I wish I could put in Magic Monday. Have fallen behind on completing a wholesale order because of some stuff going on. ARGH but I will manage yes yes I will. In the meantime I need a little Prince in my life.


Jul
15
Posted by

Another Saturday another day where I am not feeling overly much like this is a Sanctuary. To say this week has been rough would be another massive understatement. I know I said that about the year last week, what can I say it is a saying I use and it is also very true.

That being said, part of my personal goals as far as posting more and easing back into things is simply getting posts up. For me that is the first step, doing that regularly. Then I can work and focus more on content. I think this is a feasible thing to do and I personally tend to operate better when I have a set of small attainable goals that will lead into the larger desired result.

So without further adieu here is this weeks inspiration as a writing prompt for anyone who may want to take and use it.


Jul
11
Posted by

Writing is much like many things in life, like desire, want sometimes it is the small and simple things that inspire us/mean the most to us in life. Take this quiet and yet so loud scene from Poldark for example. Ross has been a clot, he knows he has been a clot and it will only get worse ( for those who know the story line ) but in this moment he was a man who knew he’d fumbled things and was making an honest and true effort to right the ship in someway.

I’ve set out fans and ice to the right over there. *snickers* I joke but I think anyone who see’s the scene will agree that it is sensual, steamy, lovely and a variety of other things at once. All of this wrapped up in a holiday gift and a pair of socks. Dare you to see that next holiday pair of socks from Grandma the same after watching this scene *LOL*. It is all in the intent, the eyes, the movements putting on a sock (please note he didn’t actually get the entire pair on lol ) something simple that ends up being wildly sensual and meaningful.

This is something I feel much of current TV & movies is missing, but slowly we are seeing a trend that is returning to these things. Even within romantic fantasies and the like it always tells a better story when it is more real, more like life as we see it. How many couples have gone through the simple measures of helping their other with socks? Or maybe a shirt? Skirt? On or off, its very real compared to the big fancy house parties and such.

Yet this scene for me is also bittersweet because I know what is to come. I know the mistakes that BOTH Ross and then Demelza will make. That too is very much like life isn’t it? We are all human and we make mistakes, it is what we do to fix and repair them that can truly matter. I believe that TRUE love can overcome ALMOST anything so long as both parties are willing to put in the work. Ross and Demelza never have a perfect relationship of course (what relationship is) but they do put in the work. Following the books they will go on to have a total of 4 children over the span of 20 years that we follow the family, so there is more then an heir and a spare as they say.

The simple things, they truly are the things we must hold onto as we all plod through this life. For when we are old (Gods Willing) and laying awaiting to go and meet the Gods and greet those who have gone before it is all those simple things that make a life. Oh sure there will always be some fantastic moments, those big glowing “best moments of my life” but they are not as many as the simple things. The simple beautiful moments they form our life, who we are and all the rest.

I am slowly following my way back to inspiration hopefully I can find some sanctuary again as well. For now I will enjoy the simple things. Like needing a fan after watching this video to make this post.


Jul
10
Posted by

You know every single time I go to make this post I end up getting Manic Monday stuck in my head, lol. I think if I went with that popping into my head every week folks would get very bored very fast. Or they would wonder what in the world is wrong with me. That is of course a bit of a complicated question, but enough of that for the moment. This week is a goodie by Evanescence it has really been speaking to me lately. Not sure if that is good or bad, but it is what it is. Now time to crack the work whip at myself and get back to the grindstone.


Jul
08
Posted by

I have been woefully neglectful of this blog and this particular part of it. I think that part of the reason is because as of late I just have not felt like I have sanctuary. To say that things have been stressful as of late would probably be the understatement of the century. I still have my creative drive in some senses but more often then not it gets put into work and there is nothing left for the heck of it. Which actually makes me a little bit sad. I am not sure why, I know most don’t read the little blog endeavors and instead wait for my work to be presented and will look at that. On most levels I am fine with that because I do the blog endeavors for myself, but sometimes I get pouty about it. I can admit it, hey I am human after all.

I am working to shake off the issues that have been throwing themselves up in front of me as of late. Trust me it is not a lack of inspiration that has been causing issues. One might even say it is to much inspiration I just can’t see to pin something particular down.

LOL maybe it is a one track mind problem as of late? This is just the first pictures I grabbed from my saved folder too hahaha.

I use the work and busy excuse a lot when it comes to my blogging over the last few years, but it is all true. I know it feels like an excuse and I hate that it does but it really isn’t. I do love blogging, I have since I started doing it what feels like a million years ago. Alas there are so many other things I love and well that I get wrapped up in. Life is funny like that sometimes eh?

So I suppose this was just a little prattly and I hope perhaps that anyone who reads may find some inspiration this week more then I for writing. I know another reason that I seem to get stuck anytime I sit down to work on the Saturday Sanc is that my friend Vere vanishing into the ether several years ago is still with me. I don’t know what happened to her and I have employed every method I know how. It bothers me a great deal. The not knowing is like being left in Limbo and it sucks more then any knowledge could. I used to write nearly daily with Vere. It was fun writing, relaxing not work and the back and forth of it always made it that much better. She would make me write better, think more clearly when I was writing and not just go with what was in my mind. I do think it is the not knowing what happened to her that does also at times stop me when I am trying to work on a Saturday Sanctuary. Perhaps now that I have put that thought out there away from just being in my own mind I can let some of it go.

I don’t expect any overnight changes but it can’t hurt to try.

So I hope in future to put this lovely theme to better use and do more writing. In the meantime I hope others can find the inspiration and write! Writing really is such a wonderful thing.


Jul
03
Posted by

Just one of those days this Monday. We all have them, though I seem to be having them more lately then I would prefer but I am sure at some point it will even out. Today was clearly not that day.


Jun
25
Posted by

As always I started this year with that same hopeful outlook that we all get when the new year comes. I was full of determination to keep all my glass balls in the air and everything else. Yet here we are coming up to the end of June and I feel as if I have allowed many of my glass balls to go flying and shattering to the ground. Especially when it comes to blogging. I have been working on one blog post for over a month *laughs* of course there have been some very good reasons as to why I have not gotten that done yet and why some of my glass balls keep shattering.

I have to admit that I simply can’t do everything.

My weekly planner fell apart within weeks of buying my 2017 one and I have not yet gotten around to making the homemade one I wanted to do. There just are not enough hours in the day and I simply don’t have enough energy to do everything I want.

It is very hard to admit that I can’t do it all but here I am admitting it.

I simply can’t do it all. I am doing the best I can and while I am disappointing in some things I am very proud of myself in others. My work continues to grow in so many ways, I am writing pen pals again and taking joy in that among some other things. I am proud of those things and I am trying to remind myself that it’s okay not to do everything perfect. I tell this to my friends and loved ones all the time but of course I tend to hold myself to a higher standard. I am working on that though because recently I have seen some of my loved ones holding me to my own impossible standard. That is a little bit exhausting.

Like everyone else I am a human too. I have my bad days, I have days where I hate myself. I have days where I am very sick and would just like to whine about being sick, eat some ice cream and watch some girly stuff with a girl friend.

I don’t get to do that very often. Honestly I am trying to recall the last time that I did that. I am trying to recall the last time I had a day to be sick where I wasn’t also thrown into the middle of some kind of hell storm.

I love my family. I love them with all of my heart and I would do anything for any one of them. Sometimes I don’t always like them though. Sometimes I want to ring necks and tell people to stop being stupid or selfish or a myriad of other things. What would that fix though? I would end up feeling guilty about it because even if in the moment it was true, it is hurtful. I do my best to not hurt the people I love where I can. Moreover, what is the point of allowing a temporary feeling go on to perhaps have a profound effect on the rest of your life and relationship? Not worth it. Not worth it at all. That isn’t to say I don’t slip up sometimes, I do.

Thankfully and knock on wood 2017 has not taken another beloved fur baby from me. I am however deeply worried that I am about to lose one if not two loved ones. I really hope that feeling creeping over my skin is wrong. I have done everything within my power to ensure I will be wrong, but after the last week I just don’t know. Even more recent events have me even more worried about it. I know that is vague but it’s all I feel comfortable popping out to the public at the moment.

Provided I can sort out the drama currently going on around me, beat the nasty flu which has me fighting high temps off and on and my nagging feeling is indeed wrong… I plan to get regular on the blogging again.

I am as always trying to find that careful balance between work, hobby and passion.

It doesn’t always work out well but hey I can keep trying right?

**Pardon any typos and the like I did not proof read before going ahead and hitting publish. I REALLY need an assistant or something…seriously.


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