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This weeks Prompt…..Movies
ay 60
When he’s awake enough to sit up and look around in his room, he finds Jim sitting asleep at his couch. His head is tilted at an awkward angle and McCoy’s neck hurts just looking at him.
He scrambles to his feet and walks over to the couch and then he notices that Jim isn’t curled under the green blanket, but he’s holding it folded close to his chest. That’s when McCoy realizes why Jim went into his room the other night. Not scouting for a place to have wild sex, but to ease his loneliness by grabbing the blanket. The one thing in McCoy’s room that’s purely there for Jim.
McCoy takes a deep breath and tries not to let the guilt drown him, but it’s hard. He’s been such an asshole the last few days. Of course he isn’t the only one with no place to go during the holiday that everybody else uses for a family gathering and going home. Jim doesn’t talk about it, but as far as McCoy can guess Iowa ceased to be a place he calls home long ago.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” McCoy says softly and shakes Jim’s shoulders. He comes to with a start, and it nearly seems as if he tries to use the blanket as a shield against the world, but then he recognizes McCoy.
“You okay?” Jim asks and McCoy snorts. No, he’s not okay. He misses his little daughter and spent the last days in a drunken stupor, he’s been mean and cranky to the one person who deserves it the least, and on top of it all he totally forgot to buy Jim a Christmas present.
“Not yet, but I will be,” McCoy answers and helps Jim off the couch. “Come on, I’m gonna make pancakes.”
Day 61
If he’s honest than he would admit he’s scared. Jim’s relationship with his parents, whether dead or just absent, is screwed. And that’s putting it nicely. Still, McCoy’s not going to leave Jim alone without any explanation and forewarning. Also, Jim still calls him McCoy; it can’t get any worse, right?
“I have a daughter,” he says during another pancake breakfast. Until now Jim was happily devouring his fourth pancake, but now he stops from one moment to the other, lets his fork sink down and stares at McCoy. It would be a funny picture if McCoy weren’t scared shitless that Jim is going to bolt any second now. “Her name is Joanna and she’s a beautiful six-year old. Her mom got sole custody after the divorce and I get to see her like twice a year.” He doesn’t add ‘please don’t hate me for not telling you earlier’. “Next time is New Year’s Eve.”
“You’ve got a daughter?”
“Yep.” No use denying it now, right? Not that he’d ever deny the existence of his beautiful girl, but some days it is just easier not to think about her.
“And you’re going to Georgia to spend New Year’ Eve with her?”
McCoy wants to nod, wants to say ‘Yes, that’s the plan’, but he can’t. And, more importantly, he doesn’t want to say that. Jocelyn will surely raise hell for what he’s about to do, but right now he doesn’t care. “I’m going to spend New Year’s with her, yes, but here. Want to show her the Academy.”
“Oh,” Jim says and starts attacking what’s left of the pancakes with his fork. “Have fun,” he says, subdued, and doesn’t meet McCoy’s eyes. McCoy wonders where the hell this conversation took the wrong turn and made Jim look like McCoy kicked his puppy.
“Wait, you don’t think … Jim, I want you to be there as well.”
For the second time during the breakfast Jim lets his fork sink down, but now he’s finally meeting McCoy’s eyes. “Seriously? You’re going to let me near your daughter? Aren’t you … like,” he moves his hand, “afraid or something?”
McCoy snorts at that. “I think you’ll get along just fine. Your mental age should match that of a six-year old perfectly.”
“Low blow, Bones. Low blow,” Jim replies, but he’s smiling – and he called McCoy Bones.
Day 62
They don’t do much of anything. They eat pancakes and have hot chocolate with marshmallows. They play some card games and Jim mutters curses in languages McCoy has never heard of when he loses. In the evening they order pizza, because McCoy knows how much Jim likes it, and they eat it sitting on the floor talking about all and nothing.
It’s then that McCoy realizes Christmas doesn’t suck at all.
Day 63
“I’ve got to go,” McCoy says after breakfast. “Just for a couple of hours, okay?”
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” McCoy makes a wave with his hand. “Just … you know, eh … “Please, could he sound even more like he’s up to something? He’s so not going into the Academy’s intelligence track.
“Okayyyy,” Jim says and busies himself with his book in what McCoy thinks is Andorian.
About two hours later McCoy is back at his dorm, finding Jim exactly where he’d left him. He also finds a little package enveloped in gift wrap on his deck.
“That for me?” He asks and Jim actually blushes before he nods. “Thanks.”
“It’s nothing,” Jim says and stands up to walk over to McCoy.
“No, really. Thank you.” McCoy lays his own package on the chair before he unwraps Jim’s gift. It’s a data carrier and a small label with Jim’s handwriting explains that Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana is on it.
“If you don’t like it, I can always,” Jim starts, but McCoy won’t have any of it.
“No need. It’s perfect.” He looks at Jim and smiles. “And now open your present.” He picks up the package and thrust it at Jim, who looks completely surprised at getting anything. “You didn’t think I’d vanish during Christmas and not get you a present, did you?” He doesn’t mention the part where he should have gotten the present way earlier, but Jim looks excited and doesn’t seem to mind his lateness.
“Whoa, you got me a rain jacket!” And now that Jim says it, McCoy feels ridiculous. Who in his right mind gives a jacket as a Christmas present? He’s tempted to take it out of Jim’s hand, apologize and offer to buy him anything he wants. “Cool,” Jim interrupts his train of thoughts. “Now I can go jogging in the rain and you don’t have to worry about me catching pneumonia. Thanks, Bones!”
And then Jim hugs him again and it’s one of these all-encompassing hugs, which seem to cover every inch of McCoy’s body with warm and affection, and McCoy hugs back.
Day 64
They pick up Joanna from the shuttle port on campus and McCoy spends the first ten minutes of her visit holding her as close as possible. Jim stands a few meters away, before McCoy waves him to come over.
“Hey, Pumpkin. I want you to meet a friend of mine, Jim.” He turns around to Jim. “Jim, that’s Joanna.”
“Hi, little girl.” Jim greets her smiling and she smiles right back.
From then on it’s a contest who can be more childish. They make a tour of the campus and while McCoy is trying to stay serious, Jim makes up stories of ghosts haunting the Botanical Gardens and crazy accidents in the chemistry labs that turned people invisible and throughout all of it Joanna squeals in delight. Most of the times McCoy feels like the only adult within a hundred meters, but he’s laughing nevertheless.
Day 65
When the hands of the clock are actually nearing midnight, Joanna is fast asleep on McCoy’s couch, the green blanket covering her little form. McCoy and Jim stand at the window and watch the occasional firework that started too early.
“Sorry,” McCoy says, sipping from his champagne glass.
“What are you sorry for?” Jim asks, his brow furrowed in concern.
“Well,” McCoy hesitates for a second, and then he points at the window and the firework over the bay. “You don’t have to stay here, you know? You can go out and party. Celebrate. You don’t have to stay here with Joanna and me.”
Jim actually starts to chuckle and pats McCoy’s shoulder. “Its fine, Bones. There’s nowhere I’d rather be tonight. Don’t worry.”
Day 66
Joanna doesn’t talk to them the next morning after she’s realized that she slept through New Year’s Eve. McCoy also gets an unpleasant call from Jocelyn and as soon Jim realizes that there probably will be screaming involved he coaxes the little girl outside with the promise of buying fireworks and celebrate New Year in ‘Jim Kirk and Pumpkin’-style.
An hour later McCoy’s voice is hoarse and he’s fed up with defending his choices to Jocelyn, but he can’t let her accuse Jim of being an irresponsible slut. Okay, so Jim can be irresponsible and he has more one-night stands than McCoy is comfortable with, but it is Jim. He’s only irresponsible about himself, never with others, and as far as campus gossip goes, he always make sure that his one-night stands know just what exactly they’re in for.
Jocelyn insults him one more time and finally McCoy has enough and shuts down the com channel. He leans his head against the screen and mutters angrily under his breath when his communicator chirps.
“Bones? You okay?” Jim asks as soon as McCoy answers.
“Yeah. How about you?”
“Pumpkin is happily eating away at the cotton candy I bought her. We’re at the fair at the pier. You want to come? Its fun and we could take a ride together.”
In the background McCoy hears his daughter happily agreeing to Jim’s proposal and he has to smile to himself. No matter what Jocelyn thinks, he wouldn’t trust any other person with his daughter as much as he does Jim.
“Sure. Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be there.”
Day 67
Joanna doesn’t want to leave, which is fine, because McCoy doesn’t want her to leave either. Still, they stand at the shuttle port and McCoy is hugging her like there’s no tomorrow.
“I’m going to talk to you soon, okay?” He says and reluctantly let her go.
“Okay,” she answers and sniffles a little bit before she throws herself at Jim, nearly knocking him over.
“You gonna talk to me, too, Uncle Jim?” She asks and for a moment Jim’s speechless. Then he bends down to her, kisses her hair and smiles. “Of course, Pumpkin.”
Day 68
The campus slowly begins to fill with more people again and it feels weird. McCoy got so used to his little bubble of Joanna, Jim and him that everyone else feels like an intruder. He even snaps at some random guy in the corridor to his dorm just because he was standing there. That’s a new level of grumpiness even for him. If Jim notices he doesn’t say anything, but when he sits down next to McCoy on the couch he’s holding two cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows in his hands.
Day 69
“Helmsman or first officer?”
McCoy raises his head. “What?”
“Well, obviously you can’t be captain, because I’m going to be captain, but when you do your test, I promise I let you be captain,” Jim explains, still not making any sense. “This time though, I’d like to have you as my helmsman. I need you on the bridge, you know?”
McCoy stares at him, not sure what he missed and why this conversation is not making any sense. “No, actually I don’t. What the hell are you talking about?”
Jim spreads his arms, flailing a little. “Kobayashi Maru? Tomorrow? You remember? You promised to go with me and I signed you up.”
He doesn’t remember. Or … wait. Maybe he does. A vague little memory about Jim talking animatedly about the awesomeness that is Kobayashi Maru and why he is the first person ever to pass this test pops up unbidden in his head.
Oh shit. What the hell was he thinking when he told Jim to ‘just sign him up’?!
“I … uh … great.”
“You didn’t forget it, right?” Jim looks anxious. “You got time tomorrow, right?”
“… sure.”
He hasn’t. He has a presentation to finish for Friday and he has to work two shifts at the hospital. But Jim looks so anxious and hopeful as if McCoy being there is the one thing that’s going to make all the difference between him passing or not. He has no idea why this damn test is so important to Jim anyway. It’s just a test. It’s just one of the things you need to do during your time at the academy. And no matter what Jim thinks, there’s no way to pass it. Everybody knows it. You just … you got to get it done somehow, sweat it out.
“Helmsman is fine,” he hears himself answer.
“Awesome.” Jim beams. “This is going to be fun. Let’s kick some Klingonian ass!”
Oh great. Nurse Simcoe is going to kick his ass when he’s going to change his shifts again.
Day 70
They don’t kick Klingonian asses. They get their ass kicked and handed to them on a silver platter, which is not exactly a huge surprise. Not to McCoy at least. He has expected as much, ever since he read online about the damn test last night. Nobody passes this test, because the whole purpose of it is to lose, to face defeat and to face certain death.
McCoy knows this is just a test, a game, a stupid simulation. It’s not real. And still … The panic is real. The people shouting are real. And the helplessness he feels watching Jim become paler and paler with the second is real, too.
“Two Klingon vessels entered the neutral zone and they’re locking weapons on us!”
“Captain!”
“They’re targeting our ship!”
“They’re firing. Captain!”
“We’re being hit!”
“Shields at 60 percent. Captain!”
“We can’t fire back. Their shields are still up!”
“Captain!”
And they’re all looking at Jim, expecting him to do something, expecting him to save them. And he just can’t. Of course he can’t. Nobody can.
It’s over sooner as he thought it would be, but not soon enough.
After they lose and – technically – after they die, it takes a while for the simulation to stop. Everything around them is dark (power ran out near the end) and nobody dares to make a sound. It’s eerily silent. There’s no voice telling them they ‘did a good job and it’s over now’, there are no lights to remind them to get off the ship, to get back into the real life.
Just darkness. And silence.
Seconds tick by and McCoy really starts to hate this simulation now. He’s … just not good with darkness und silence in space.
“Bones …” There’s a whisper to his right and he flinches involuntary. A warm, familiar hand presses his shoulder and he instantly calms down. “You good?”
He nods and feels stupid a second later, because there’s no way Jim can see him right now. “Peachy,” he murmurs. He should totally shrug him off, but somehow he doesn’t really want to.
“This was fun, right?”
“Not really,” he replies honestly.
“Sure was.” Jim clears his throat and raises his voice. “Hey folks just wanted to tell you, you were really good and did a great job. Be proud of yourselves. Your captain kind of sucked though.” He chuckles and McCoy frowns because it sounds wrong somehow. “I totally think we should do this again. Maybe with a little more alcohol, just in case.”
Some people cheer and applaud, some laugh a little uncomfortably. McCoy is more than surprised that Jim seems to take it so lightly. Somehow he expected it to be more of a drama.
“Jim, you …”
“You know what? I’ll see you tomorrow, I really gotta run now …” And then Jim’s hand is gone and the lights flicker back to life.
“Simulation completed,” a metallic voice announces. “Please return to the gates. Please don’t use …”
He jerks his head around but Jim is just gone, vanished into thin air.
McCoy frowns when he gets up. He just wishes he could’ve seen his face …
The rest of the day passes in a blur.
McCoy feels weird and he doesn’t even know why. He realizes the Kobayashi is actually not a big thing. Whenever people mention that he looks kind of rough today he only needs to say the word and everybody is full with compassion and understanding. ‘Oh, that sucks.’
Yes it does.
And Jim … Jim just stays gone.
He doesn’t even show up for dinner, which is cool because McCoy totally needed an evening for himself anyway. Except it’s not, because Jim never misses dinner. McCoy worries and he doesn’t understand what’s going on in this stupid blond head of his best friend and the feeling is weird and unsettling.
