Born in the Tundra of Minnesota, I have since become a bit of a Gypsy. Currently calling home base the hot sands of Arizona, I do still travel often. Whether the journey is a physical one, or one taken by reading a fantastic book it doesn't matter, the fun is always in the adventure. As always I am an eclectic person that likes a wide array of things and has many passions. Creating, advocating for animals and Mothering just to name a few.


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The Purple Booker







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Aug
25
Posted by

I spend most of my life fighting battles. Many of which I know I’ll never win. I fight them for myself but mostly I fight them for my loved ones. But I’m tired. I am so exhausted that I want to lay down my sword forever.

There have been so many loses this year and last year… so many hard personal loses. I was barely treading water before and now that a part of my soul has crossed the rainbow bridge and I’m drowning. Somedays lately I ask myself what am I even fighting for? To be forgotten about? To be an after thought? To be the also ran? To be the ATM. Or the place holder until something better comes along?

I’m not posting this here for attention, I’m not posting it because I’m going to harm myself ( I never would ) I’m posting it here because I’m tired of keeping it in and at least here no one can interrupt me mid thought and say, but you’re so strong! You’re always strong! You’ll be fine! Well meant I’m sure but even the strong need support and love and care. Ha but of course I’ve been told my life is far better then many others so what do I have to complain about. We all fight battles.

Just because one persons life is different then yours, just because their struggles are different doesn’t make them less than. We all fight battles. Period. But I’m so tired.

I used to have friends. Not tons but ones I trusted and loved…still love. But now the majority are gone. For varied reasons most by their own choice because I wouldn’t give them some material thing they demanded. Nice right? I’m so tired. I drop everything for those I love when they need me. I’ll put all of my own shit aside my work whatever it takes. I thought that is what you did. But I’ve noticed as of late…the same isn’t done for me. I don’t expect people to lose their work or anything like that, but some form of letting me know I matter would be nice. I’m tired.

I’m tired of being in a room literally or figuratively full of people but feeling alone in the dark. I’m drowning, where’s my hand of help? I’ve used all my glue putting others back together I don’t have any left for myself. I’m drowning but people only seem to want to spend time with me when someone else isn’t available to them. I can’t breath but the only time my phone seems to ring with any regular basis is for work or when something is required of me. Or when I’m expected to flip a switch and suddenly vent everything I’ve been told to keep to myself. I’m so tired.

This warrior doesn’t want to fight anymore. This warrior would rather be with the other part of herself. Maybe it’s time to stop fighting, to treat others the same way they treat me. To fully stay locked into the busy schedule I have and stop making time in it for others. Or maybe it’s just time to find a way to be with my other half, at least I’d feel whole again.

Of course none of those things will be what happens. Instead I’ll carry on and keep fighting. As I’ve always done. Be there and fix things and be the strong one. All the whole fairly sure no one will notice how tired I am. As long as I keep doing what they expect. That seems to be all that matters anyways.


Jan
02
Posted by

Happy New Year to one and all. 2016, wow it seems like just yesterday it was 2000. Maybe I am the only one who thinks that or feels that but I do. Many things have happened in the last year and I am grateful for almost all of them. Even the ones I am not grateful for had to happen to make me who I am today and get me where I needed to be to start this year.

So many people make resolutions and all of that for 2016. Not me I tend to make goals for the year because they are easier to keep properly and you feel better when you keep them. I have also not yet made my 2016 round up post. I will make that sometime this coming week along with the goals list. That is not this post though. This post is a Happy New year as well as a little bit of a philosophy because I have been thinking about it lately.

It is a lot of the events of the last months of 2015 that have been waning and thinking about this one. So here we go. Soulmates it is a concept that we all know about, some believe in it some don’t. Those that do tend to believe it is this one single being that we are destined to be with. However, with the very high divorce rate in the US maybe that isn’t it. Or maybe I am just babbling but I read an article during some of my pondering recently.

What if there are soulMATES which of course touches on the mate part and why everyone thinks it is the one person they are supposed to be with forever, and soul companions. Yes you heard me soul companions, someone that we share all the big things that goes with soulmates but that mated or sex part.

You can view the whole article here: Understanding Soul companions and Soulmates

It is well worth the read. I really enjoyed reading it and it goes hand in hand with the belief I have held for many years. We have more then one person who touches our soul and belongs with us in our life to make us feel complete. I take it even further though and think that some of us even have more then one soulmate. The soul should not be measured in a unit of 1 that can’t hold anything extra. I think we need several soul companions too.

So there you have my 2016 philosophy bit. I will be doing the 2015 round up and goals list soon.


Jul
17
Posted by

Alright I have had a stressful week this week, don’t we all have those once in a while. That is however, not what I am going to be posting about. I am just my mind is boggled at the fact that in the United States there has been another shooting with multiple people dead.

This time United States Marines.

Now it is terrible when anyone dies, anyone that is killed in a violent way should not have to die that way.

ap_chattanooga_shooting_06_jc_150716_4x3_992

4 Marines dead because why? I just why because your feelings were hurt? You do know you just proved anyone who ever gave you trouble about being of middle eastern origin (not that I agree with that I don’t) but you just gave them validation. What did these Marines, these people who were just going about their day in Tennessee ever do to you?

What has our world really come to?

All I want to do is wrap my kids up in bubble wrap, build a bullet proof wall around my house with roof and never go out again. People are just going CRAZY.

This quote from a ABC article sums it up pretty well.

“While we expect our Sailors and Marines to go into harm’s way, and they do so without hesitation, an attack at home, in our community, is insidious and unfathomable,” Mabus added.

I just..

There are no words. I know this post is error filled and I don’t care my brain hurts. My heart hurts and my soul hurts.


Jul
26
Posted by

One more friends, this one is for me I like 3’s better then 2’s after all.

 

Christmas again in London how many Christmas’s had she seen in her life now? It was easy to lose count of them all but she was blessed to have so many of them after all. Tucking her packages into her satchel Lilly looked up at the night sky oh so many things changed over the years. Why was it with all she had seen in her very long life it was nights like this she often thought of a man in a funny outfit, though now in these times it did not seem so strange. How had he traveled to that time so long ago? That Doctor.

Lilly smiled some and shook herself from thought to walk along the lightly snow powdered lane. She knew the path by heart and once in motion she allowed herself to slip back into memory. It was lost in this memory that she was when suddenly something or someone ran into her, it jarred her and her satchel as dropped but her senses went on high alert. Ready to defend herself when a familiar word hit her ears.

“Whot?!”

Lilly blinked and looked to where the man stood. He looked like he hadn’t aged a day! The outfit the outfit was even the same only…blue. “Doctor?” she said in a stunned tone.

“I really do have to rush there’s a thing…and it’s Christmas and…” he trailed off as brown eyes met blue. A blue he had only seen once before in a human and was as familiar to him as home, blue like his Tardis. “Princess Lilly? But how…that’s impossible…”

Slowly she arched one delicate brown moving a strange of her golden hair aside “As impossible as a man in a suit to be in the 14th century and then also in the 21st?”

“Not likely then…”

“No not likely, but here I am.”

“You only look a few years older…how?”

“Not the same way as you I suspect. How did you get to my time all those many years ago? Then here?”

“Oh by Tardis.”

“Tardis?”

“Time and relative dimension in space.”

“A time machine?”

“Well yes that is really simple way to put it though you see the Tardis is much more than a time…”

“Didn’t you say you were doing something I wouldn’t want to keep you from it…” though she didn’t want him to go she had too many manners to keep him if he had to go.

“Oh! Yes! But how are you…you don’t have a Tardis”

“No I don’t have a Tardis. I was changed.”

“Changed?”

She nodded slowly watching him he smelled like sunshine and something else, fresh and clean space maybe? “Yes we as a family prefer the term Immortal though I suppose most of the world would say Vampire.” He looked troubled at her last word.

“You don’t kill people do you? I am not a fan for that I can’t approve but I could give you a warning.”

She laughed softly a sound that seemed to lessen the tension in his shoulders “Oh no Doctor not at all we only taken from those willing to give. There are some who have been loyal to the family for generations.” Those words seemed to make him relax even more and he smiled. Seemed to wish to say something but there was some screaming in the distance.

“I do have to…”

“Take care of stuff.” She nodded understandingly though not really happily.

He hesitated a moment then took several steps forward. Stopped turned and looked at her again and simply held out his hand.

Lilly didn’t hesitate her packages still in the snow and yet she didn’t care. Not for a moment her hand met his and their smiles met with their gazes as they ran towards the screaming.

 

 


Jul
26
Posted by

I was getting some fussing that there was MORE of the Sanc wanted sofine lol here is a second shot. Back to where it all started……

 

 

Lilly looked up from her place in the castle rose gardens she felt as if someone was watching her. Which was silly on so many levels as a Princess of the blood she was always being watched. This was different though it was something else. Finally her deep blue eyes rested on a tree just off to the left of one of her favorite rose bushes. That is when she spotted it, she was not sure what it was some strange looking bit of cloth, brown like a peasant might wear with stripes? It was hard to tell from this distance setting her book down on the stone bench she slowly stood and making sure her skirts didn’t get muddy she walked to the tree to investigate. Lilly had been born with a curious nature something she got from both of her parents. Upon reaching the tree she indeed found a man behind it he was peering out the other side of the tree and what was he wearing? It was the strangest outfit she had ever seen and that was saying something. Tipping her chin up some however she spoke clearly.

“Sir what are you doing in the King’s Garden?”

Lilly watched as the man jumped startled and turned to look at her. When he did her eyes widened a little, perhaps he was dressed strange but he was handsome. An almost angelic face with high cheek bones, lush lips and deep brown eyes.

“Whot?!”

She blinked slightly at the man’s blurt. As he cleared his throat and looked at her.

“I mean…I was..looking for something that shouldn’t be here. I. Not meaning to be rude.”

“Looking for something that shouldn’t be here?”

“Oh well nothing you should worry about….your eyes are very blue.”

She tilted her head some he sure was a bit all over the place. “Thank you, but you shouldn’t be here.”

“Ah yes the King’s Gardens you say which King?”

Lilly widened her eyes some WHICH KING? Though she managed to keep a calm tone in reply, “Why the Only King there is in England Sir. Edward my Uncle.”

“Which one?”

“Of all the…” she stopped herself she was supposed to be less rash yes less rash, “You may know him by his often called title The Black King.”

“Oh that King”

Now the man looked a bit nervous she smiled a bit, “He is not so bad as that…”

“Your Uncle you said?”

She nodded some despite the oddity of him being in the garden and his dress which was just well she could not..what kind of shoes were those? Something about the man was drawing, “Yes he is my Uncle my Mother is his Sister Annabelle.”

“So that would make your Father?”

“William Thatcher.”

At that Lilly noticed the man smile and well that nearly made her heart fall into her shoes. What was wrong with her?

“The man who changed his Stars and married a Princess of the Blood.”


Jul
08
Posted by

tmat

This Meme is daily and is held over at the That’s my answer blog

What is your ideal outdoor temperature?

I had to think about this one a little bit. I enjoy the sun and I enjoy nice breezes but I do not like humidity. I do like rain but not all the time. So what is my ideal temp, I would say around 72-75 is my ideal temp. I find that without humidity you can sit and enjoy the sunshine without getting over heated and just feel at one with nature. Once you hit the 80’s it tends to keep going and then it gets to hot.


Jun
18
Posted by

tmaw

This Meme is daily and is held over at the That’s my answer blog

Would you rather bungee jump off the Space Needle in Seattle or parachute over the Grand Canyon?

2048

Look at that view I mean look at it. There can be no question I will answer the call of nature in this question. I would choose to Parachute over the Grand Canyon any day over the space needle. Ask me 100 times and I will answer the same.


May
27
Posted by

HSchall

 

Another tough one for the challenge but I think I got it 🙂

 

Rowboat


Apr
15
Posted by

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Mar
11
Posted by

tmat

This Meme is daily and is held over at the That’s my answer blog

If you could change or eliminate one wedding tradition, what would it be?

Okay..this is going to sound silly but it is how I feel about it. The whole “it is the most important day of your life” label that we give the day. Yes I know it is an important day, I had one after all. But it is just one day it is not THEE most important day. It is the first day in many that should be a life long journey. So stop going into mounds of debt for one day….seriously.


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