Born in the Tundra of Minnesota, I have since become a bit of a Gypsy. Currently calling home base the hot sands of Arizona, I do still travel often. Whether the journey is a physical one, or one taken by reading a fantastic book it doesn't matter, the fun is always in the adventure. As always I am an eclectic person that likes a wide array of things and has many passions. Creating, advocating for animals and Mothering just to name a few.


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Aug
29
Posted by

If you consult any romance novel or rom-com be it young adult, historical or contemporary, and they will have you think that love is easy. News flash,

Love is not easy!

Whether it is family love, friendship, love or lovers love, it really is not easy. That doesn’t mean it is bad or not worth it. After all, isn’t the old adage nothing worth having is easy? The question ends up being if it is not easy, then is it worth the work you need to put into it.

Honestly, I will almost always say yes to that. There are a few small notable times when I said it wasn’t worth putting more and more work into a one way street. But, those are the exceptions to my general rule of once I let you in, you are in for life. I will bend over backwards, tie myself into a pretzel and a variety of other things to make sure you are ok, loved and know how I feel. As the previous post at the start of the month covered this does mean I end up being hurt a lot. On purpose or not on purpose. I will be honest, there have been sometimes this year where I thought it was time to stop doing that. It was time to be more cynical and perhaps treat people more like they were treating me.

In the end, however, I couldn’t do it. I don’t think I will ever be able to do that kind of thing. Why you ask? The short answer is that I truly believe in kindness and love. I do truly believe that if more people could just be kind and show love even in the face of something that is not love the world would be a better place. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel hurt, get exhausted and sometimes feel like giving up. I do. I am human like everyone else. It just means that after a bit of time, I will usually sigh, pick myself up and head back to seeing what I can do to help.

Love is hard. Loving an addict is hard. Loving someone with mental illness is hard. Very, very hard all of it.

But it is worth it.

Love might be hard, but it can also be rewarding. Love teaches you things, it teaches you that you are stronger than you thought and that missing someone sucks.  So I guess once again, I have gone off on a ramble, but I am okay with that because I needed to just ramble on. Currently it seems that is the form Birth of a Notion is taking a place for me to ramble. That is one thing I love about this blog when I sit back and think about it, that it changes and it flows and it moves like I do. We all grow, and change and learn and become different and then go back to something more familiar and become the best version of ourselves.

I have agonized over this blog on more than one occasion, about not keeping up with it, about how many different things it has been. It is like me. It makes me happy that I have finally managed to just accept this epiphany. So come along for the ride and the random ramble, or don’t it is cool either way. If you do come along, though I bet you will have a bit of fun. If you would rather something a bit more traditional,  you can always visit one of my more bog standard blogs that have themes, lol.

Anyways, I digress, Love is hard, but love is worth it. Love is worthy and Love needs to continue in this world, even when it is hard. Hate is the enemy. Hate will break us all and turn the world into a place that we may never come back from. So no matter how hard, I choose love.

 

Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.


Apr
08
Posted by

 

It is Saturday once more and time to find inspiration to write. It has been a difficult week in that respect for me. I have barely even done creative work that must be done. I suppose we all have these times, eh? I can admit my mood has been melancholy but I hope for it to improve soon. They say time heals all wounds of course, but sometimes the scar still reminds us of the pain endured to get it.

 

 

Oft, in the stilly night,
  Ere slumber’s chain has bound me,
Fond Memory brings the light
  Of other days around me:
    The smiles, the tears
    Of boyhood’s years,
  The words of love then spoken;
    The eyes that shone,
    Now dimm’d and gone,
  The cheerful hearts now broken!
Thus, in the stilly night,
  Ere slumber’s chain has bound me,
Sad Memory brings the light
  Of other days around me.

When I remember all
  The friends, so link’d together,
I’ve seen around me fall
  Like leaves in wintry weather,
    I feel like one
    Who treads alone
  Some banquet-hall deserted,
    Whose lights are fled,
    Whose garlands dead,
  And all but he departed!
Thus, in the stilly night,
  Ere slumber’s chain has bound me.
Sad Memory brings the light
  Of other days around me.

 


Jan
21
Posted by

Today’s writing prompt is this picture with this phrase, or without and even the phrase on its own. The phrase is:

Moving forward

Building on the fact that I am embracing that a writing prompt here does not have to be for fiction again this week. I know my last weeks have been a little bit sad and maybe even emo, but I am the first to admit I have not been dealing with my grief well. Things have been rough and my stress is still so far up that I can’t really explain it well enough. However, yesterday a force that has given me a boost arrived and brought that bit of sunshine I needed. I won’t pretend I am all rainbows and unicorns and such, but progress is happening, so I have chosen to work on moving forward. I have chosen to find happiness in what thing’s I can, I am choosing to work my hardest not to wallow in my grief. Won’t be easy but one minute at a time.

I know I would have come to this conclusion in time anyways. I am not the type of person who sits and sees only the negative in everything. Sure, I have my moments, but more often than not I try to find at least a small thing to be happy about. Yesterday my sweet departed Pash Pash ensured that another life would be saved and join our family. This sweet new little life applies a band-aid to my wound and allows me to take the first easy breaths I have since Pash Pash passed on. You can never replace a loved one and that is the same for loved animals, my animals are my family. You can make more room in your heart though. Allow the love you have to share to expand to that new sweet baby and slowly the pain will dull. New life is always something positive and it is hard not to smile as you get to know the quirks and amusements of a new cute little friend.

This is the little guy who showed up to be part of our family. He looks similar to my sweet Pasha, less white on him and his face is thinner, but there are similarities. This sweet boy has black socks instead of white like Pasha had and his little jelly bean paw pads are black too. For some reason I am completely enamored with the fact that his paw pads are black. I have had cats with pink pads and a mix of pink and black but never just black.

This little guy has been dubbed with the rather long name of Misha Castiel Pasha, yes, I am a complete and total nerd and that has never been in question right?

He is an interesting little fellow so far and is settling in well. I know we will see more of his true self as he becomes part of the pride and pack in the house. He is a fairly laid back little guy and he LOVES attention. He purrs very loudly and meets Dutchy’s tough standards for cleaning. This kid has already power bathed himself 4 times since he has been home. The rest of the residents of the house have accepted him pretty well with very little hissing, snarling or anything else. It makes me feel like he is indeed the piece that was missing with the loss of our Pasha, he just slid into that spot and fit in like the perfect puzzle piece. I am going to truly enjoy the next week and watching to see how his character unfolds. So far he does seem to be named properly, he is a little odd in that sweet adorable and fantastic way. Who wants normal right?

I also just noticed this morning that his tail is different, I seem to get kitties with different tails. It looks like at some point in his young life (he is about 5 months old or so at present) his tail was broken. It doesn’t hurt him at all and he doesn’t seem to notice anything odd about it, but the top 1/4 of his tail is kinked over and held so it is almost like his tail forms an L shape. I didn’t notice this right away as most of my cats purposely hold the tips of their tails over to make kind of an S shape and I thought maybe he was trying that and not doing well with it. A closer look and full body rub showed me however that yes indeed at some point his tail was broken. I don’t mind at all to me that just gives him extra character and makes him even more a part of the family. Dutchy has half a tail, the rest of it was taken when she was but a tiny kitten by what we don’t know. Callie has an extra long tail that seems to be a tail and then the missing half of Dutchy’s as well as her “special”. One of Callie’s legs broke while still growing in the womb and never grew past that point. It healed folded over and smaller and doesn’t both her her one bit. Several vets have told me that if it doesn’t pain or hinder her and they didn’t think it was, there was no reason to put her through the stress of a big amputation surgery. Those are just some of the unique things in this family, so Misha fits right in.

It truly is nice to part some of the fog. I can see a path out and I can see the beautiful light coming through the forest trees. I will get better eventually. I will start to feel less stress. Although I do have to say I think a vacation is going to need to happen before I can feel totally refreshed and recharged.

 


     

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