Born in the Tundra of Minnesota, I have since become a bit of a Gypsy. Currently calling home base the hot sands of Arizona, I do still travel often. Whether the journey is a physical one, or one taken by reading a fantastic book it doesn't matter, the fun is always in the adventure. As always I am an eclectic person that likes a wide array of things and has many passions. Creating, advocating for animals and Mothering just to name a few.


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The Purple Booker







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Jul
29
Posted by

Poetry can be a good release valve. Of course I stopped sharing it a long time ago as everyone would take what was in the poetry as a cemented thing. That isn’t how poetry works.

 

 

I looked up to you when times were bad.
I looked up to you when I was sad.

I always laughed when you were by my side,
until you went behind my back and lied.

I felt so betrayed and so alone,
and began to realize your true colors that had shown.

You hurt me so badly that nothing can compare.
You were the one with whom my secrets I thought I could share.

You helped me through bad times when people were so mean,
and now that you’re gone, I feel so deceived.

You lied to my face, one only could tell.
You left me alone; now I feel like I’m in hell.

I have no one to turn to to ask for advice.
You leaving me like this is like being squeezed by a vice.

I’m in pain; it’s not easy to see, and since you’ve been gone,
I have no one beside me.

I try to find more friends that are as fun as you,
but the more I try, I realize there is nothing more I can do.

You’re gone forever, whether you know it or not.
Me being stuck in this world alone like this, I’d rather be shot.

Goodbye forever, you ruined my ability to forgive,
and now like this for the rest of my life I shall live.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/abandon


Jul
22
Posted by

 

Tell me of pain, what you know of it.
Is it to be feared, or guarded against
like a tangible foe?
Do you seek it, or merely accept it
like an unavoidable opponent?
Is it to be welcomed, with open arms
as an enabling experience?
You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.
Pain… She was my first lover
My most intimate friend,
but a demanding mistress, she is…
The more you fight her,
she more she hurts you
with no safe word in place…
As I struggled against her
she demanded more of me
until there was almost nothing left.
She encompasses me,
cloaks me in her cold embrace.
A cruel master, never meant to rule
has no limits to what she will do.
She is meant to lend you strength,
help you overcome…
If only you can harness her, hold her in check.
Many years ago she escaped her reigns;
now it is I in her shackles
I know of no escape though I must.
I am riddled with the arrows;
arrows that others aimed
that she pierces me with,
each taking a slice of my soul.
Soon there will be nothing remaining;
only a vacant shell in which I once dwelled…


Jul
15
Posted by

Another Saturday another day where I am not feeling overly much like this is a Sanctuary. To say this week has been rough would be another massive understatement. I know I said that about the year last week, what can I say it is a saying I use and it is also very true.

That being said, part of my personal goals as far as posting more and easing back into things is simply getting posts up. For me that is the first step, doing that regularly. Then I can work and focus more on content. I think this is a feasible thing to do and I personally tend to operate better when I have a set of small attainable goals that will lead into the larger desired result.

So without further adieu here is this weeks inspiration as a writing prompt for anyone who may want to take and use it.


Jul
08
Posted by

I have been woefully neglectful of this blog and this particular part of it. I think that part of the reason is because as of late I just have not felt like I have sanctuary. To say that things have been stressful as of late would probably be the understatement of the century. I still have my creative drive in some senses but more often then not it gets put into work and there is nothing left for the heck of it. Which actually makes me a little bit sad. I am not sure why, I know most don’t read the little blog endeavors and instead wait for my work to be presented and will look at that. On most levels I am fine with that because I do the blog endeavors for myself, but sometimes I get pouty about it. I can admit it, hey I am human after all.

I am working to shake off the issues that have been throwing themselves up in front of me as of late. Trust me it is not a lack of inspiration that has been causing issues. One might even say it is to much inspiration I just can’t see to pin something particular down.

LOL maybe it is a one track mind problem as of late? This is just the first pictures I grabbed from my saved folder too hahaha.

I use the work and busy excuse a lot when it comes to my blogging over the last few years, but it is all true. I know it feels like an excuse and I hate that it does but it really isn’t. I do love blogging, I have since I started doing it what feels like a million years ago. Alas there are so many other things I love and well that I get wrapped up in. Life is funny like that sometimes eh?

So I suppose this was just a little prattly and I hope perhaps that anyone who reads may find some inspiration this week more then I for writing. I know another reason that I seem to get stuck anytime I sit down to work on the Saturday Sanc is that my friend Vere vanishing into the ether several years ago is still with me. I don’t know what happened to her and I have employed every method I know how. It bothers me a great deal. The not knowing is like being left in Limbo and it sucks more then any knowledge could. I used to write nearly daily with Vere. It was fun writing, relaxing not work and the back and forth of it always made it that much better. She would make me write better, think more clearly when I was writing and not just go with what was in my mind. I do think it is the not knowing what happened to her that does also at times stop me when I am trying to work on a Saturday Sanctuary. Perhaps now that I have put that thought out there away from just being in my own mind I can let some of it go.

I don’t expect any overnight changes but it can’t hurt to try.

So I hope in future to put this lovely theme to better use and do more writing. In the meantime I hope others can find the inspiration and write! Writing really is such a wonderful thing.


May
06
Posted by

Sorry to say this week I do not have my own Sat Sanc written up. It has been a tough week and while I am feeling inspired in someways I am not in others, sorry folks. Though sometimes I don’t think it matters one way or another if I post or not. I will be a better blogger starting next week hopefully. Today is the one day a year that everyone likes horses (Kentucky Derby) day so here is the inspiration if anyone else feels like writing.


Apr
15
Posted by

This weeks Saturday Sanctuary is sticking a toe in the naughty pond again if you are feeling like that any rate. A new theme is on the way and I hope you will all like it too. This weeks inspirational photo can be enlarged if you want to see it in full lovely HD pixels.

I want to be your companion
and walk hand in hand,
your strength enveloping mine.
Autumn leaves falling,
scuffing feet and laughter,
sharing nights, not finished by the dark.

I want to be your confidant
as you pen your deepest
thoughts, as your heartaches
bleed and finally break free.
Your dreams, I keep as if my own.
I want to smile as you smile
and giggle with you
at nothing at all.

I want to be your lover
and find the passions
that move you to action.
I want to be the softness
that induces you to trust.
I want to be the naughty
that makes you come back for more.
I want to please you.

I want to share your breakfast
and your dinner,
I want you in the shower
and in your bed and
with soft steps to bring you coffee
(I take mine black)
Your strong arms, the legs
that power your thrust,
your lips of pleasure,
these are the fuel of my desire

no it is no secret, my love,
and to put it very simply,
I want you.


Apr
08
Posted by

 

It is Saturday once more and time to find inspiration to write. It has been a difficult week in that respect for me. I have barely even done creative work that must be done. I suppose we all have these times, eh? I can admit my mood has been melancholy but I hope for it to improve soon. They say time heals all wounds of course, but sometimes the scar still reminds us of the pain endured to get it.

 

 

Oft, in the stilly night,
  Ere slumber’s chain has bound me,
Fond Memory brings the light
  Of other days around me:
    The smiles, the tears
    Of boyhood’s years,
  The words of love then spoken;
    The eyes that shone,
    Now dimm’d and gone,
  The cheerful hearts now broken!
Thus, in the stilly night,
  Ere slumber’s chain has bound me,
Sad Memory brings the light
  Of other days around me.

When I remember all
  The friends, so link’d together,
I’ve seen around me fall
  Like leaves in wintry weather,
    I feel like one
    Who treads alone
  Some banquet-hall deserted,
    Whose lights are fled,
    Whose garlands dead,
  And all but he departed!
Thus, in the stilly night,
  Ere slumber’s chain has bound me.
Sad Memory brings the light
  Of other days around me.

 


Apr
01
Posted by

 

Sad to say this week again my creativity has left me. I have parts of story finished that I was going to share with last weeks teaser, but things happen. I don’t want to leave those who contacted me about wanting to participate down though. So even though I am not feeling very prompted this week, here is your Saturday Sanctuary picture for the week. What does this black and white inspire you to write?


Mar
25
Posted by

I had a big plan this week to write some big sweeping chapter of the last inspirations. Then I got distracted and I was going to write a big sweeping epic on my other idea. Then I felt sick. So I am still inspired but just didn’t get a damn thing done. this week. Sorry.

On the bright side I will tease what I got distracted by…not that anyone who’s talked to me in the last few days will be surprised.


Mar
18
Posted by

Fan art image from Deviantart

 

I walked along the long ornately decorate hallways of Whitehall, Nan at my side, searching for Mary . But with my luck, it wasn’t her who I ran into. It was Cromwell. True, he’s not my enemy , but he isn’t exactly my ally either. He bowed to me as was still required at the moment, even though he knew he specifically didn’t have to unless Henry was present. How gentlemanly . “Marquis Boleyn. How are you and the little…prince in your stomach faring?”

“Prince? My baby isn’t guaranteed to be a boy , even if it is he’ll inherit Pembroke, not the English crown. Henry’s slaving away at the annulment.”

“No, my lady . Forgive me for being the one to have to tell you, for Henry already should have by now. If you give birth to a boy , seeing as your marriage to the king isn’t annulled, he’d be legitimate.

You would once again be Queen, to protect the bid your son would have to become king.”

I gave a rich, hearty laugh. This was ridiculous! “And what of the Lady Jane Seymour? Does he not still love her? Who am I to trap him into a marriage with me? Who am I to keep him from his true love?” I raged at the poor man. I shouldn’t be taking my sorrows out on him. Then again, there is that phrase ‘Shoot the messenger.’ That’s how I heard it anyway .

“With all due respect, Henry always spoke of you as his one true love. But yes he is quite smitten with that blonde vision. We were supposed to be discussing the fine details of that. The outlining really depends on the gender of her baby . If a boy it’d be a recognized royal bastard, and either Jane will be sent away or she’ll become maîtresse en titre. If she has a girl, well, we don’t quite know yet.”

“I see. Well, thank you for keeping me in the loop and giving me something to pray for.”

“And what more would a pious woman such as yourself have to pray for?”

I smirk as I walk a few steps ahead of him before turning my head to reply . “A girl.” I smirked again as I once more began to walk down the halls, continuing my search for Mary . Eventually I found her in the main library . She was at a desk with a little girl. She looked so kind and normal it made me feel even guiltier. If this is how Lady Mary truly is, how much could I have made her hate me that she acts so bitter and hostile and cruel? I crept slowly behind the pair, not wanting to disturb whatever it is that Mary was trying to do with the little girl. But I suppose I wasn’t quiet enough because I made one step and was met with the clear green eyes of my baby girl.

“Mama! Mama! Mary’s learning me language. We spoke Spanish, and English, and German, and Russian, and French too mama! You like French!” her eyes were lit up enormously and I couldn’t help but tear up and smile. I peeked around Elizabeth and fixed my gaze on Mary .

“I’ll see you later, Little Lizzie. Have fun spending time with your mommy! Your daughter’s persistence is quite inspirational, Marquis.” I bowed my head in gratitude but her glare became harder and more pointed. “I wish I could say the same for yours.” And she walked away . I turned to Elizabeth, who was smiling blissfully oblivious, and envied her. I wish I could see the good in everyone. But right at this moment all I could see was a vividly vibrant red.

 

Grinding my teeth I pick up Elizabeth and spin uncomfortably on my heels. Fine, I’ll simply let her be for the time being! I’ll allow her some time to mull over my sincerity in my offerings. And she expresses my persistence with a negative connotation? HAH! Elizabeth is shaking her head violently and doesn’t stop until I do.

“Mama, I wanna see the roses!”

“No baby girl, we’re going to go see Daddy!” I force myself to brighten my voice up as I hoist her up, as she was slowly sliding down (curse you silk), and carry on walking to Henry’s offices in the South wing of the palace. I walk in unannounced and without invitation, as has been my right to for over ten years now. I walk in to see Henry sitting at the desk, with Mistress Seymour massaging his back while looking over his shoulders at whatever it was he was working on.

“How sweet. Mistress Seymour, do not strain to push yourself beyond your obvious limitations with Henry’s political jargon, you’ll get the worst migraines.” She looked like a deer caught between two hunters. Her eyes flit for the briefest second to Elizabeth before resting on Henry . She leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“Yes, she has always called me Henry and often helped me sort out the kingdom, Jane. Please, give us a moment.”

“Mama! Mama there goes that lady again! Why’s that lady so close to my papa? Isn’t she s’posed to serve you?” I ignored my baby girl and glared at Mistress Seymour as she lowered her head, training her eyes on the floor as she left.

“Why are you here, Anne? You should be resting.”

“Because we still have a lot to discuss, and with my progressing pregnancy , our time is running out. Tell me, have you seen or spoken to your daughter since our last discussion concerning her?” Elizabeth was perched on Henry’s lap by now. He was bouncing her gently up and down while she drew on an extra piece or parchment she found.

“That’s exactly what I’m working on now. But Jane’s and your pregnancy complicate everything. All that I am doing rests on the probability of whatever gender your children are. Jane’s children may or may not be added to the line of
succession, but where would that place Mary . And your child definitely will be in the line of succession, as you are still queen at the moment, but where in the line would all of them go? Yours, Jane’s, and Mary’s. That’s three children to consider, along with Elizabeth.”

“It doesn’t seem that difficult to me. Here, you can always change things around. Put Mary under Elizabeth and just leave the open space for my child. Then, whatever Jane’s bastard becomes depends on the gender, so leave it out for now.”

“Fine, I’ll just put Mary under Lizzie for now and whatever comes after her is listed as pending. You were right, you know Anne.”

I was hoping he’d tell me I was right all along and that he was wrong in seeking his entertainment elsewhere. That he truly doesn’t know the meaning of devotion and will try to change. But I know Henry , I know him inside and out. And unfortunately his pride gives him extreme limitations to the point where he’ll never admit to anything of the sort, and will live behind his mask of delusion for the rest of his days. Unless he has a change of heart while knocking at death’s door.

“About what this time, Henry?”

“You know what, Anne.” he threw down his quill and ran a hand through his hair.

“I haven’t the slightest clue, Henry .” I tilted my head to the side. Considering his affiliation with Jane, he must find idiocy simply entertaining.

“Restoring Mary to royal succession brings us great political power. It gives us the upper hand in several situations. She would be a princess four times over, her education is impeccable, her persistent support and faith concerning the Roman Catholic Church pleases nearly every prince in Europe, and her dancing and singing is wonderful. She has all this at her disposal with beauty beyond belief. She’ll be so happy .”

“Actually , I think not. Which is why I asked if you had spoken to her, not if you sorted out the matter concerning her. She doesn’t seek wealth and titles for her happiness. I think all that would make her happy is your love, my death, and returning to Spain.”

“Well the way I see it, two out of three of those can be arranged happily .”

“I see…did you throw out my death warrant yet? Which two of her three happiness’s will you be willing to grant?”

“Come now, Anne. Forgive and forget! I know you’ve always been the type to hold strong grudges, but I think letting this matter go would be acceptable. It’s best if we both forget it.”

“Henry , you know me better. Our Lord frequently preaches forgiveness. I have long forgiven you, but I will never forget. The bible says nothing about having us forget.”

Henry rolled his eyes and looked towards Elizabeth. She was finished drawing and was now adding detail to whatever it was she drew. I craned my heck to get a glimpse of what she drew, as Henry had stopped bouncing her at the sight of it and was now frowning. In the picture she depicted three people. One man. One woman. And one female child. The two adults looked severely irate and the small girl was crying quietly , holding her skirts in her hand, showing that she was twirling around. Mama and Papa never stop fighting. Was written in Latin just underneath the drawing.

“Am I the one who makes you two fight, daddy?”

“No. No, no, never my pearl. What would ever give you such an idea?”

Lizzie started to cry and hopped off of Henry’s lap and moved to the other side of the room. She pointed out the window at the gardens before wrapping her arms around herself. “You and mommy fight. Lately , you always fight. I always see you fight. Or if I don’t, I hear you fight. And sometimes at Hatfield, the older Ladies talk about you and mama fighting until Lady Bryan or May tell them to shut their large mouths. Mama I want to go with May .”

“Who’s May , Anne? Did you charge someone with the care of my daughter without my knowing?”

“Actually no, even if I had you wouldn’t have cared. Remember what you always told me? ‘You must do as you will, Anne.’ May is Mary . She wants her sister.” My tone remained harsh even though I tried to make it calmer for Elizabeth’s sake. It isnt healthy for her to see Henry and I argue so much. To be the cause of her emotional damage, withdrawal, or shortcomings is the last thing I want.

“Come with me Lizzie, we’ll find her together and if she’s busy you can always see her later.”

“No, Anne. We still have a lot to discuss.”

“Keep working on that annulment. Then we won’t.” his eyes, clear as day , hardened and I knew he was serious.

Letting out a large sigh of annoyance I called for Elizabeth to be sent with a maid to find Mary , who she apparently affectionately called May .

“There, Elizabeth is gone, and now she thinks that we fight because she makes us unhappy . Is that the image you enjoy projecting to my daughter, Henry? Is it?”

“Our daughter, Anne. Just…just sit. Cromwell told me he already informed you on the current situation of our marriage. We’ve already discussed Mary’s political standing and that of all my other children. All we have left to discuss is Elizabeth’s schooling, King Francis’ upcoming visit, and how your pregnancy has been going.”

“The last ‘issue’ sounds more sociable than businesslike. How long is Francis staying?” I smiled faintly at the thought of my old friend coming for a visit. Between everything I have been through since the last time I saw him and some more recent developments, I could really use his company .

“Stop smiling like that, you look like an idiot.”

“Like Mistress Seymour?”

“Watch your tongue.”

“Forget this. I will not sit here while you treat me as anything less than the person closest to being your equal. I will pick out Elizabeth’s new tutors on my own, based on my own schooling. And I will write to Francis on my own. Can your precious little fool do that Henry? I don’t believe she can, the only thing she knows of proper schooling or foreign language is that she never had it and she can’t speak any .”

I stood promptly , spitting my words at Henry like fire. I walked with purpose out of Henry’s office and back to my own chambers. How do people expect me to change and apologize to all of them if they all remain imbeciles! Its complete and total hypocrisy .


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