Born in the Tundra of Minnesota, I have since become a bit of a Gypsy. Currently calling home base the hot sands of Arizona, I do still travel often. Whether the journey is a physical one, or one taken by reading a fantastic book it doesn't matter, the fun is always in the adventure. As always I am an eclectic person that likes a wide array of things and has many passions. Creating, advocating for animals and Mothering just to name a few.


Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner





Follow on Bloglovin
Follow on Bloglovin

The Purple Booker







________________
Add this to your site

 
Apr
19
Posted by

My crochet has not been going as quickly as it normally does or as I would like it to. I am behind on projects as many who read already know. It makes me sad I really don’t like being this behind on gifts (Yule) though I do know everyone understands. I love crochet, it is a place where I can feel content and Zen like reading only my hands are always busy as well, which is a big deal for me. I feel better if my hands are busy and being useful. I have been busy there is no doubt about that, I usually am. That isn’t the only reason why crochet has been slow recently.

You see, it seems lately that my mind turns to just about anything else to do before it turns to crochet. Spring cleaning, organizing lists, organizing supplies, organizing anything, testing and making new products (a to do task anyways but still) and other things. If you asked me a few minutes before this post why I thought I was doing that I would have shrugged and told you I have no idea. It is true, I had no idea until a few minutes ago when Dutchy sat down on one of my Yule gifts that I picked up to make myself work on it. I do love the project but I have to make myself work on it. So why?

I miss Cubby so much and that feeling hits me more when I pick up my crochet projects. Sometimes it hits so hard that I can’t see through my tears. I feel bad that I seem to downplay how hard the loss of my Pasha sweet has also been, I miss him so much too. So very much, but Cubby was Cubby. He so rarely left my side. He was my barnacle. Sure, it could be annoying sometimes, but his comforting, warm, sweet presence was always welcome. His unflagging love was always cherished. His sweet purring and moments of knowing when I needed him to be even a little closer I just never looked past a time where he wouldn’t be with me. I could not picture my life without him. Which is silly, of course, because eventually we do lose those loved ones in our life, four pawed and two pawed as it were. Yet I just never looked beyond.

Now that presence is not with me all the time. I still walk at a slower pace so he can follow along, I still pause before turning around from a counter or fridge ect because he was always right behind me. I still wait for him to climb into my lap and adjust whatever project I am working on to fit around him. Cubby adored sitting on my crochet projects. He loved taking part in that zen time for me and of course he liked snuggly warm yarn as well. I still have the crochet, but I don’t have him. I think that is why I end up putting the project away after such a short time now. Especially the holiday ones, as they were of course started when he was still here, still testing them out giving them his approval.

I am sure it will get easier as time passes, but for now it doesn’t feel like it. The world will turn and life goes on, but in the darkness of the night or the quiet moments of the light I stand still because I miss him so much.


Apr
08
Posted by

 

It is Saturday once more and time to find inspiration to write. It has been a difficult week in that respect for me. I have barely even done creative work that must be done. I suppose we all have these times, eh? I can admit my mood has been melancholy but I hope for it to improve soon. They say time heals all wounds of course, but sometimes the scar still reminds us of the pain endured to get it.

 

 

Oft, in the stilly night,
  Ere slumber’s chain has bound me,
Fond Memory brings the light
  Of other days around me:
    The smiles, the tears
    Of boyhood’s years,
  The words of love then spoken;
    The eyes that shone,
    Now dimm’d and gone,
  The cheerful hearts now broken!
Thus, in the stilly night,
  Ere slumber’s chain has bound me,
Sad Memory brings the light
  Of other days around me.

When I remember all
  The friends, so link’d together,
I’ve seen around me fall
  Like leaves in wintry weather,
    I feel like one
    Who treads alone
  Some banquet-hall deserted,
    Whose lights are fled,
    Whose garlands dead,
  And all but he departed!
Thus, in the stilly night,
  Ere slumber’s chain has bound me.
Sad Memory brings the light
  Of other days around me.

 


Jan
21
Posted by

Today’s writing prompt is this picture with this phrase, or without and even the phrase on its own. The phrase is:

Moving forward

Building on the fact that I am embracing that a writing prompt here does not have to be for fiction again this week. I know my last weeks have been a little bit sad and maybe even emo, but I am the first to admit I have not been dealing with my grief well. Things have been rough and my stress is still so far up that I can’t really explain it well enough. However, yesterday a force that has given me a boost arrived and brought that bit of sunshine I needed. I won’t pretend I am all rainbows and unicorns and such, but progress is happening, so I have chosen to work on moving forward. I have chosen to find happiness in what thing’s I can, I am choosing to work my hardest not to wallow in my grief. Won’t be easy but one minute at a time.

I know I would have come to this conclusion in time anyways. I am not the type of person who sits and sees only the negative in everything. Sure, I have my moments, but more often than not I try to find at least a small thing to be happy about. Yesterday my sweet departed Pash Pash ensured that another life would be saved and join our family. This sweet new little life applies a band-aid to my wound and allows me to take the first easy breaths I have since Pash Pash passed on. You can never replace a loved one and that is the same for loved animals, my animals are my family. You can make more room in your heart though. Allow the love you have to share to expand to that new sweet baby and slowly the pain will dull. New life is always something positive and it is hard not to smile as you get to know the quirks and amusements of a new cute little friend.

This is the little guy who showed up to be part of our family. He looks similar to my sweet Pasha, less white on him and his face is thinner, but there are similarities. This sweet boy has black socks instead of white like Pasha had and his little jelly bean paw pads are black too. For some reason I am completely enamored with the fact that his paw pads are black. I have had cats with pink pads and a mix of pink and black but never just black.

This little guy has been dubbed with the rather long name of Misha Castiel Pasha, yes, I am a complete and total nerd and that has never been in question right?

He is an interesting little fellow so far and is settling in well. I know we will see more of his true self as he becomes part of the pride and pack in the house. He is a fairly laid back little guy and he LOVES attention. He purrs very loudly and meets Dutchy’s tough standards for cleaning. This kid has already power bathed himself 4 times since he has been home. The rest of the residents of the house have accepted him pretty well with very little hissing, snarling or anything else. It makes me feel like he is indeed the piece that was missing with the loss of our Pasha, he just slid into that spot and fit in like the perfect puzzle piece. I am going to truly enjoy the next week and watching to see how his character unfolds. So far he does seem to be named properly, he is a little odd in that sweet adorable and fantastic way. Who wants normal right?

I also just noticed this morning that his tail is different, I seem to get kitties with different tails. It looks like at some point in his young life (he is about 5 months old or so at present) his tail was broken. It doesn’t hurt him at all and he doesn’t seem to notice anything odd about it, but the top 1/4 of his tail is kinked over and held so it is almost like his tail forms an L shape. I didn’t notice this right away as most of my cats purposely hold the tips of their tails over to make kind of an S shape and I thought maybe he was trying that and not doing well with it. A closer look and full body rub showed me however that yes indeed at some point his tail was broken. I don’t mind at all to me that just gives him extra character and makes him even more a part of the family. Dutchy has half a tail, the rest of it was taken when she was but a tiny kitten by what we don’t know. Callie has an extra long tail that seems to be a tail and then the missing half of Dutchy’s as well as her “special”. One of Callie’s legs broke while still growing in the womb and never grew past that point. It healed folded over and smaller and doesn’t both her her one bit. Several vets have told me that if it doesn’t pain or hinder her and they didn’t think it was, there was no reason to put her through the stress of a big amputation surgery. Those are just some of the unique things in this family, so Misha fits right in.

It truly is nice to part some of the fog. I can see a path out and I can see the beautiful light coming through the forest trees. I will get better eventually. I will start to feel less stress. Although I do have to say I think a vacation is going to need to happen before I can feel totally refreshed and recharged.

 


 

Copyright © 2017 - All Rights Reserved // Birth of a Notion is Powered by WordPress with a theme designed and coded by Nique Creations