For a second week, sadly I just am not feeling the inspiration to restart this meme in a fictional sense. I am badly blocked and I know exactly why that is. My heart is still broken, sometimes it feels as if I can barely breath. However, as Superman (yes dear readers, I use code names and letters for folks in my life cause not everyone likes to be all over in random blog posts. So I respect that and getting back to the point) reminded me a writing prompt does not always have to be for a fictional story. A writing prompt can be for a personal story, or a poem or anything really even a song. I have sat and thought about this for a while and you know what he is right. So here is the writing prompt for this week Saturday Sanctuary and hopefully next week I will have Mr. Linky set up again.
For better or for worse, we all are going to go through a grieving process at some time in our lives. I think 2016 was full of ,so much grief for many in the world, it is hard to think that we can hold anymore within us. I think that is one reason I am having such a hard time currently. 2016 was a hard grief filled year for me as for many others. Don’t get me wrong, there were some fantastic, wonderful moment’s as well, ones that I wouldn’t change for the world. However, it is very hard not to focus on all the loss that happened. I swear whomever gave George R.R Martin the pen to write 2016 needs to be eaten by Ramsay Boltson’s dogs. Hopefully someone kinder has the pen this year, my year didn’t start out well though. My year just rolled on keeping with 2016 and losing my sweet boy has just ripped me into pieces. I am trying to say it was the last gasp of 2016 because I still want 2017 to be a great year, I really do want to try and hold things together and see 2017 be an unforgettable year for all the right reasons.
At the moment, though it is all I can do to hold the ribbons of myself together as they fray and unravel. It seems the second I grasp on to one end, another one starts going and the effort all seems futile. It would be easy to give in, easy to just lay down and give up. I really want to do that, I am so tired, so very tired in so many different ways. But taking the easy way out and giving up has never been my way. So I am going to keep grasping at those ribbons, keep trying to hold them together. Eventually, they will start to mend. Eventually I will have enough tape and hot glue to get the ribbons to hold together. Then from there I can start applying gold to the cracks. I have always found the art of Kintsugi interesting, since last year and now going into this one I have become a little bit obsessed with it. Kintsugi art gives me a little hope, it makes met remember that eventually this too will heal. It may take time and you have to be patient, but in the end you will be stronger and prettier for having survived.
If you don’t know Kintsugi is the Japanese art of fixing a broken piece of pottery with potter clay or enamel mixed with gold dust or other precious metals. I suppose some of the richer people may have used pure stuff instead of the dust ect. At any rate this art form believes that you work the breakage into the art, that the piece is stronger and more beautiful because it was repaired and broken than before, rather then try to hide the breaks. Something inside of me really feels a pull towards that idea, it really does.
I know it will take time, I know I can’t rush things and I should be gentle with myself. It is one thing to know these things it is another to put them into practice. For the moment I am just getting through the day one breath at a time, one second at a time. Hopefully it will get easier soon, I hope so, I really do. I know I need a vacation from pain and well a regular one from so much work. For the moment, though, one second at a time, one breath at a time I will keep slowly going. Until I can rise again like a Phoenix.
Tags: Saturday Sanctuary