Born in the Tundra of Minnesota, I have since become a bit of a Gypsy. Currently calling home base the hot sands of Arizona, I do still travel often. Whether the journey is a physical one, or one taken by reading a fantastic book it doesn't matter, the fun is always in the adventure. As always I am an eclectic person that likes a wide array of things and has many passions. Creating, advocating for animals and Mothering just to name a few.

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The Purple Booker

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Oh I am so tired of being this person. I really am, but everyone keeps telling me that I should say the crap I tend to choke down on out in the open so there we go. I don’t know why I bother really but my blog so right along with the let’s talk about sex thing let’s talk about all the random crap that I keep having to deal with on an almost daily basis and just want to rip my hair out.

My current bone that I am trying to deal with?


Also secondly kind of goes hand in hand…


The bottom line is that I always try to be as nice as possible when I am saying something that might be uncomfortable. I get it, no one likes to take notes on their negative parts or behaviors. Trust me I get those notes too and I don’t always like them. However I do try and take a look at the feedback and use it as a place to grow. We are all works in progress and we can all grow.

But for FUCKS SAKE if you ASK someone one something DON’T HAVE A GOD DAMN TANTRUM AFTERWARDS.

I can’t count how many times lately I have tried to back away from a conversation or situation. I know I am not as soft gloved as I used to be. I know that, I openly admit it and I apologize for it. When I see how a reply might be taken or where a situation is going to be taking a left turn at shit. I try and allow for a graceful exit out when I can. Yeah I don’t always but when I do, if you then press forward saying you want to know. Is it really then fucking fair to get your panties in a bunch about it? I mean seriously. When someone is trying to back away from a situation you have to know whatever comes next isn’t going to be something great. So why go after it only to then get upset about it? Essentially stamp about it. Take it out on someone else and then just go poof.

Yeah I get it, we all get tired and some people even sleep. Still not the nicest thing to end a conversation like that.

Chalk that shit on to some other bones I have to pick and ya know I am just done with a lot of shit. SO so so done.

Across the board.

Sitting here typing out yet another venting post really makes me wonder. What kind of toxicity am I allowing to remain in my life. I am going around in constant circles in more then one relationship and it just feels like, why? When do I stop and say okay, I have given everything I have to give and it is time to stop caring so much. I hate doing that, I hate taking relationships that I have done everything possible to keep going and having to set them outside the circle but sometimes that is what you have to do.

My ex for example was a big fat needed to cut out, likely should have done it way before.

Maybe it is time to call in the debts and relegate people to acquaintance status. Might be the only way to save my own sanity. Then maybe I am just prattling on again it’s not as if I actually do much about it. I keep getting the collateral damage and I keep talking people down from ledges. Among other things.

I don’t know something somewhere is got to give. I am tired of feeling like A Dear Abby ATM most days. Sad right? That’s how I feel most days. I had a few days where I was starting to feel a little better, but that went away pretty fast. Maybe that is just due to exhaustion.

Or maybe all of this prattle actually is good advice that I should take myself. I honestly am not sure about any of it anymore.


On that I am completely positive about. Don’t ask if you don’t want to know, seriously. All it does is make a person feel like they really can’t tell you the truth or anything at all. Keep doing it and that feeling is going to keep getting worse.

Yeah. I think maybe I need to check out of any major life stuff for a while. Call in the debts I am owed and go live on my island where only those I let in can bug me. Sadly laughable that I know if I called those debts in across the board I might only get a response from….ONE of the people. Do I sound ass chapped about it? Yeah well right now I am because that is just how it is. I am sure I will be over it again in a few hours, I mean I am always expected to be anyways and most days I am fine enough to let it slide because there are more important things. But yeah today I am allowing myself to be ass chapped about the whole thing. I especially love always being asked last minute if a payment that wasn’t even my damn schedule idea but made to be easy for the one with the loan if its okay. Like we all know that if I say no it’s not okay, what happens then? Like really what actually happens if I say no? Yeah exactly I get to feel like the shit head and the payment either isn’t made until the asked for date or it is and I get to feel like a shit head for making someone short. Even though it isn’t my fault. ITS CALLED A BUDGET.

Shockingly this happens to me frequently from more then one avenue. I know. That makes me pretty pathetic. Also the worst bank ever.

So yeah island and telling everyone to fuck off….that is what I was talking about for a minute there right?

Might be a really good plan right about now.

Yes this is not edited and there is likely errors and I don’t care. I have vented and sadly I feel no better then I did at the start. In fact I am fairly sure I feel worse, because I know I am going to hear about this post later. Oh well, time to go start making lunch and then get back to work.

One Response to “If you don’t want the answer…DON’T ASK!”

  1. Anah Rose says:

    Very well put. Thank you for sharing this.

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