I feel like I edit myself a lot when it comes to my blogs. I know I need to do this in some of them, like my craft blog or the one connected to the area where kids are a lot. I do however try to keep a fair amount of separation between the business that involves kids (see me trying to avoid naming it for the connection issues) and my personal life. It isn’t that I think sex is shameful, or that anything else I do or say is shameful. For the most part (I am human after all) I stand by what I have said and put out there on the internet. I rarely delete things (and even if you do, they aren’t fully deleted so..) because I try to put thought into things before I put them out into the world. Not just because of the permanence of the internet but because of the energy you put out in the universe. It matters. I think if you felt something in that moment and you thought about it before putting it out there, well then leave it as it is. Sure, you may feel differently now, but going through these feelings, phases and everything else is how we evolve and change in life. For me, I tend to use this blog space here as a catch all. Birth of a Notion started out as the birth of an idea of being able to share whatever random crap I felt like.

Yes, I have gone through phases where I tried to focus this blog, make it about one thing or another. Attempted to make it more commercial so I could monetize it. I even tried to make it my version of a mommy blog once, who cared if it was four legged mommy right? Yikes. None of those peg holes worked. Why? Well, because this blog was never intended for that it was intended for my space to be me and just go through life and post what I want. Post what I am feeling, get it off my chest and yes with Saturday Sanc and other things post creative, random things that might not fit in other places. FAN FIC BABY! I still love me some good fan fic! I was happier in general once I realized that I needed to stop forcing it and just roll with it. I may not be the most prolific blogger ever, especially as of late as life takes me down a lot of roads, but I have accepted Birth of a Notion needs to remain about what that notion was originally. Me. Less edited. Me being not as guarded, it is harder than you think.

Even with all of that, I still generally edit myself around sex on this blog. WHY? I write about it. Oh, I write about it A LOT. Dirty steamy shit too, seriously it would make some of you blush and others just nod along. Maybe it is because there are members of my family like my Mom who know about this blog and have access to it, as posts automatically go to my Facebook (I don’t hide my true self generally speaking)? Or maybe it is just because while I am as liberal and free thinking as they come I am still a product of a Puritan society.

I was born, raised and live in a society where men can run around topless and no one bats a lash (please don’t change this!) but if a woman so much as hints at nipple on social media the ban hammer comes down like THAT. It can be about something that has nothing to do with sex. It can be about breast cancer, survival, breastfeeding or just a woman being as she was made. BAD! OMG a nipple! Make it go away! News flash men have nipples too, and lets take a look at things for a second okay. Nipples on women’s breasts have a purpose. Breasts fill with milk when there is a baby growing, baby is born, milk is produced, baby uses nipple to latch onto and drink milk. That is the purpose of breasts and nipples. Nourishing young. Period. ( I am sorry to my sisters out there who can’t breast feed I am not trying to make you feel less then while making my point I promise). It is society and largely men who have sexualized nipples. Yeah ,they can be used during sex. Yes ,they are a point of arousal for many women. No doubt, but at the end of the day that is not what they are actually THERE FOR.

Why do men have nipples?

Like I am seriously asking….hold on a second let’s ask Doctor Google.

Okay, funny when you type in “why do men have…” the first thing that comes up on the auto fill? Yeah. Nipples. HA. So okay good I am clearly not the only one pondering this.

Okay ,so the short basic answer is that in the first few weeks of life boys and girls are the same. So when the basic body bits form, we get the same stuff like nipples. Then when teste’s devlop for boys things change, but the nipples are still there. A slightly more scientific look at it… from Live science.com

During the first several weeks, male and female embryos follow the same blueprint, which includes the development of nipples. However, at about six to seven weeks of gestation, a gene on the Y chromosome induces changes that lead to the development of the testes, the organ that makes and stores sperm and produces testosterone, according to the book “Exploring the Biological Contributions to Human Health: Does Sex Matter?” (National Academies Press, 2001).

After the testes are formed, the male fetus begins producing testosterone at about nine weeks of gestation, changing the genetic activity of cells in the genitals and brain. But by then, those nipples aren’t going anywhere.

So there you go. Nipples boys and girls are the same! Same same same! I mean if anything men have the sexual nipples….So why is it okay for men and not women to show the nipple? Yeah, we all know why, the bottom line is sex. Women are sexual objects and yet we don’t want to talk about sex publicly. Well, screw that. Seriously, just screw it.

Let’s talk about sex. I am not going to run around selling sex on my other business because it is up to parents to talk to their kids. I can only hope more parents start to talk to their kids openly about sex. It shouldn’t be taboo or scary. It is natural. It is natural to enjoy it and it shouldn’t be this thing we have behind closed doors. Talking about sex doesn’t corrupt people. I think we started to have issues with society when sex stopped being okay to think about. Rome may not have been a perfect place and rape has always been a thing we know that okay, BUT it seems to me that it wasn’t as big of a thing and yeah punishments were matching the crime too. Again Rome wasn’t perfect, but they weren’t corrupt because they freely talked about sex and didn’t have any free the nipple issues.

So yeah, I won’t suddenly be brandishing the nipple all over but screw it. I will be talking about sex. Healthy, consensual sex. Unless of course it is an issue that isn’t about that, but well come on use your brain and if you are reading this you likely know me somehow and I try to keep people with brains around. If you know me, love me even and this post offends you. I do apologize that it does, maybe you will wish to not read my blog posts on this blog in the future. Or you can skim the title and first paragraph, I promise I will be upfront about it…as I was with this post. I hope it doesn’t make you think less or ill of me, but if it does that isn’t on me and it will not make me change my mind. I have to be my most authentic self in the spaces I create myself. So accept it or don’t, no worries love and light either way.

Closing for now…but in closing i’ll use some more immortal words about sex.

Sex is natural, sex is good…. 😉

Fair warning the following images might not be safe for work or enjoyed ….. but you don’t see any offensive nipples 😉

 

Okay, the title may confuse some of those who know me, trust me that is not how I actually feel. Sadly, I did something that you should never do….. I “interneted”. Having a brain that would not calm down enough for me to even focus on a single thing on my to do list that I should be doing, no my brain was having too much fun thinking of new things for me to do.

Normally random Google searches for me are fairly safe. I look up photos of art, cats or things that might go along with the inspiration my brain is having. This time it seemed simple enough, safe enough once more looking at a very favorite topic, fun and different takes on Elsa. Oh, sometimes I really should learn not to click.

An article topic popped up along with a photo about a sexy moment that everyone missed from the movie. I personally found there to be a few, but not missed, just typical Disney over kids’ heads there for the adults items. Especially during the big crescendo moment of Elsa becoming her own Queen. I really, really should not have clicked.

The link took me to a Huff Post article (yes first sign I should not have clicked), it was of course by now several years old 2014 but hey it would kill some time to read it. I am face palming myself as I write this now. If you are interested in reading the article yourself (I beg you not to click but in the interest of fully showing and sourcing) you can read it here. I am going to make it fast and just quote the part that has me face palming the hardest.

At the song’s emotional climax, as Elsa is about to see the sun rise for the first time from the balcony of her new crystal palace, she suddenly sees fit to express her freshly unleashed power by giving herself… a magical makeover. “Let it go/ Let it go/ That perfect girl is gone,” she declares as she ditches her old look (a modest dark-green dress and purple cloak, hair in a neatly tucked-up braid) for one that’s arguably even more “perfect.” By the time she sashays out onto that balcony to greet the dawn, Elsa is clad in a slinky, slit-to-the-thigh dress with a transparent snowflake-patterned train and a pair of silver-white high heels, her braid shaken loose and switched over one shoulder in what’s subtly, but unmistakably, a gesture of come-hither bad-girl seduction.

Now. I am not saying that all movies for children should be ideologically scrubbed clean of any hint of sexuality. Nor am I immune to the fantasy—one that’s surely not limited only to women—of vanquishing one’s demons and tapping one’s reserves of inner courage while also looking like a million bucks. But I know I’m not the only one who feels a familiar sense of deflation every time that pulse-racing song (delivered so gloriously by Menzel) culminates in a vision of female self-actualization as narrow and horizon-diminishing as a makeover. It’s a moment I recognize from too many movies in my own childhood—Grease was one, The Breakfast Club another—in which the “good girl” goes over to “the bad side” thanks to a quick cosmetic fix-up (Olivia Newton-John’s big slutty perm and skintight black pants! Ally Sheedy’s tragic de-Goth-ification at the hands of Molly Ringwald!). These moments always bugged me as a kid, because they seemed to be last-minute reversals of the foregoing movie’s message, which was that the character in question (Newton-John’s virginal Sandy, Sheedy’s glumly eccentric Allison) was fine just the way she was. To be sure, Elsa’s conversion into a glammed-out ice diva does differ in important ways from those earlier onscreen makeovers—for one thing, her transformation isn’t meant to impress any specific suitor, and in fact Elsa (unlike her younger sister, Anna) ends the movie without a romantic prospect on the horizon.

 

I just….I mean….seriously? WHY?! She is all ,outraged about a makeover? Moreover, she seems to think that just because a woman owns her own sexuality, her own beauty and does something just for HERSELF that she is being a “bad girl”. Since when did embracing your own sexuality become the same thing as a bad girl? Sadly, I know the answer to that is a long time ago. Just as she pointed out, the good sweet little “virginal” stereotype is alive and well in movies and TV. So of course, a woman who has less tidy hair and a stunning gown that is indeed also sensual and sexy, well of course she is a BAD girl. I mean come on here.

Elsa at a very young age was taught to be afraid of her power to be afraid of who she was literally. She was told to conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them see. Bad parenting award there by the way, even if it was born out of their own fear and misunderstanding. There have been some great debates over the parallels of what Elsa’s power is being shown to be. The obvious on screen power, of course, is her magical abilities, but many have also drawn parallel lines between that and her sexuality, that she is forced to hide her beauty and sensuality ect. There are a lot of other parallels and all I am going to say is well done for those who see those ones. The moment when she runs away because of her own anxiety and fear having come out and the people being afraid of her is heartbreaking. It is also what happens when you are told to hide who you are, you become afraid of yourself. So that moment when she finally embraces it and also gives herself a makeover into what SHE wants to be. Yeah, it is sexier and less buttoned up there are more parallels there you know. Elsa is not doing this for anyone but herself. Elsa is not doing this for a man like Sandy did in Grease, Elsa is embracing her own power and who she is as a woman as a Queen.

This writer and I use the term loosely is trying to rag on one stereotype while happily trotting along with another one and frankly it chaps my rear end. I know I shouldn’t get so concerned about it, the post is from years ago and doesn’t actually hurt me any but yeah I am just seeing red. Sexuality and sensuousness a woman with her own power and strength of will and sensuousness should NOT be seen as a BAD girl. She is a strong woman who is not afraid of ALL of her powers.

Now, do I think it is a great thing for young girls to be rolling their hips seductively. Well, no I don’t think it is the best thing in the world. HOWEVER, scolding them and teaching them to hide it is not the right answer. If they are young it can be presented in a way to them about needing to be older to move like that, or something along those lines. Older girls should be able to be talked to rationally about it. We should NOT teach our Daughters to be afraid of who they are in any fashion and that includes embracing their womanliness, their hips, the sway all of it.

I am sure some who read this will be going, well now if our girls act like this they are asking to be raped, or asking for trouble. I refuse to live in that kind of fear. I know that society is terrible about sexual harassment and rape, you really don’t need to tell me about that. Once more I say, however, teaching girls that the way to avoid these things is to hide their sexuality is only perpetuating the damned problem. It is NOT a girl or woman’s fault when she is sexually assaulted. It is also not a boy or mans fault when he is. Society needs to chuck that crap out of the window and lay down one simple firm line. Sexual harassment or assault is the fault of the perpetrator NOT the victim. Women should never have to get that, well if you didn’t wear that or if you didn’t drink this or didn’t do that or whatever speel. I know I am guilty of falling into some of those things I have been taught by society, but I am working HARD to break free from them and I will not teach it to the next generation if I can help it. This is not Utopia so of course common sense should be applied, but we need to stop victim blaming. I don’t care if a woman is walking stark naked down the center of the road, that doesn’t mean you get to touch her and that she is asking for it.

Moreover, we need to teach our boys not only the right way to act, the right way to treat a woman and No means No but that they too can be hurt. Everyone knows that the numbers of how many women who report sexual assault is appallingly low, but have you looked at the statistics for men? Did you know that 1 out of every 10 rape victims is male? Did you know studies have shown that 90-95% of male rape victims don’t report it? That is compared to the 85-90% of women who don’t report, lets face it is is not much better, but I suspect the number for men is closer to 98-99%.

So, yeah, maybe Elsa let loose and became a little bit sexier embracing who she was. What is so wrong with that? She is an adult and while yes, it is a kids movie, it isn’t like she stripped down naked and started finding every man she could to have fun with. Not that I personally think there is anything wrong with that either, just not in a children’s film. Women like the one who wrote this article are part of the problem not the solution. It is reading crud like that which makes me sad and ever more fearful for society.’

*Takes a Queenly step off her soap box*

Sorry about the long winded rant, but I had to get it off my chest. Right, time to let it go.

 

Yeah, see what I did there 😉 always good to end on a light note.

** This soap box moment that jumps around a bit within the topic brought to you by sleep deprivation and stress. Check back for next weeks edition. **

 

I am NO MAN!