Okay, I have not forgotten I have a blog. Or several. I just have been so busy as usual everywhere else that the blog is one of the things that falls between the cracks. I mean, if I have to chose between spending time with friends and family or typing up a random blog post, these days the blog never wins. I am okay with that, really I am. I am not going to drone on and beat myself up about it in this post because if I had to make the choice I would make the same choice again.

With that being said I need to start making more time for me again and for me sometimes that me time means sitting down and blogging. Now that is not going to happen overnight, but of course I am going to start debating and planning how I might make this work. The time for that is going to be coming soon. I am going to be leaving the States behind tomorrow and going back off to my favorite place the UK. From there well I will be going to other parts of the world as well. A gypsy heart and all of that.

This comes at a good time as well because I am seriously giving some thought to the world in general. To say that my friendships lately have been up and down lately would be the understatement of the century. It is no secret that I have several friends with some fairly serious mental issues. We all have issues and I suffer from my own anxiety and such as well. Sadly the hardest hit has happened in just the last three weeks and frankly, it has me a little bit shocked, awed and just unsure of much of anything at this point. You spend 8 years building a friendship, helping as much as you possibly can through the ups and downs of everything only to be told in the end you are a fucking bitch and you’re the reason someone is becoming homeless and those are just two of the nicer things said to me in this instance. I am not going to hash all of it out in a public post, but I believe this friend has had a breakdown of some kind or perhaps she is using again the behavior matches.

I have done this dance before with this friend, but honestly, it has never been quite this bad. I am so worried and so deeply concerned for her but if she won’t seek the help she needs and thinks I am the bad guy what else can I do? I spent about 2 and a half weeks sacrificing what little bit of sleep I got and family time and work time trying to sort out what was going on, trying to be supportive much to the downfall of my own health. That is on me though that was my choice, I won’t blame anyone else. There is, however a point where one has to draw the line and disengage no matter how much it hurts. It hurts me. I don’t give up on people. I don’t like to turn my back on those I love, but sometimes you have to make a choice and not allow them to completely drag you down and drowned with them. That is something very hard for me to do. So hard. I know whatever she is going through has to be hard as well, but after the last outburst I have heard nothing. I can hope she is okay and I do hope she is, even if she wants me to drop dead.

That is where the worrying about society and other things has been coming into mind. Why has society programed women to always see each other as competition? Yes, that might not be the first thing that comes to mind with a mental or addiction issue, but it is there. I have had less dramatic issues with women lately as well and that has clearly boiled down to that society normal that women don’t support each other but attack each other. I hate it. It’s why I have always felt I get along with men better. That is not to say I don’t have a few good women in my life, I do. I just wish I had more. I wish I could feel more open to making new women friends as well.

The latest events coupled with my other social anxiety and social issues frankly has me thinking why bother? I know logically that is wrong. Even in my heart, I know I want more female friends. I think women can truly life one each other up and support each other in amazing ways, if they would just do that. At this point I am starting to ramble a little bit, but I am overtired and overworked at the moment. I think I will end up sleeping for a week on my holiday. Maybe that will be the best thing for me. All in all it has been a bit of a rough time lately and frankly I miss my friends. This latest loss had dragged up a few other losses in my life as well and makes the pain more acute. I have told people I do truly feel like I am in mourning. I am mourning the death of a friendship and that really sucks. Hardcore.

I guess all that is left to say is what I usually say when there isn’t really anything you can do about a situation, it is what it is.

Today’s writing prompt is this picture with this phrase, or without and even the phrase on its own. The phrase is:

Moving forward

Building on the fact that I am embracing that a writing prompt here does not have to be for fiction again this week. I know my last weeks have been a little bit sad and maybe even emo, but I am the first to admit I have not been dealing with my grief well. Things have been rough and my stress is still so far up that I can’t really explain it well enough. However, yesterday a force that has given me a boost arrived and brought that bit of sunshine I needed. I won’t pretend I am all rainbows and unicorns and such, but progress is happening, so I have chosen to work on moving forward. I have chosen to find happiness in what thing’s I can, I am choosing to work my hardest not to wallow in my grief. Won’t be easy but one minute at a time.

I know I would have come to this conclusion in time anyways. I am not the type of person who sits and sees only the negative in everything. Sure, I have my moments, but more often than not I try to find at least a small thing to be happy about. Yesterday my sweet departed Pash Pash ensured that another life would be saved and join our family. This sweet new little life applies a band-aid to my wound and allows me to take the first easy breaths I have since Pash Pash passed on. You can never replace a loved one and that is the same for loved animals, my animals are my family. You can make more room in your heart though. Allow the love you have to share to expand to that new sweet baby and slowly the pain will dull. New life is always something positive and it is hard not to smile as you get to know the quirks and amusements of a new cute little friend.

This is the little guy who showed up to be part of our family. He looks similar to my sweet Pasha, less white on him and his face is thinner, but there are similarities. This sweet boy has black socks instead of white like Pasha had and his little jelly bean paw pads are black too. For some reason I am completely enamored with the fact that his paw pads are black. I have had cats with pink pads and a mix of pink and black but never just black.

This little guy has been dubbed with the rather long name of Misha Castiel Pasha, yes, I am a complete and total nerd and that has never been in question right?

He is an interesting little fellow so far and is settling in well. I know we will see more of his true self as he becomes part of the pride and pack in the house. He is a fairly laid back little guy and he LOVES attention. He purrs very loudly and meets Dutchy’s tough standards for cleaning. This kid has already power bathed himself 4 times since he has been home. The rest of the residents of the house have accepted him pretty well with very little hissing, snarling or anything else. It makes me feel like he is indeed the piece that was missing with the loss of our Pasha, he just slid into that spot and fit in like the perfect puzzle piece. I am going to truly enjoy the next week and watching to see how his character unfolds. So far he does seem to be named properly, he is a little odd in that sweet adorable and fantastic way. Who wants normal right?

I also just noticed this morning that his tail is different, I seem to get kitties with different tails. It looks like at some point in his young life (he is about 5 months old or so at present) his tail was broken. It doesn’t hurt him at all and he doesn’t seem to notice anything odd about it, but the top 1/4 of his tail is kinked over and held so it is almost like his tail forms an L shape. I didn’t notice this right away as most of my cats purposely hold the tips of their tails over to make kind of an S shape and I thought maybe he was trying that and not doing well with it. A closer look and full body rub showed me however that yes indeed at some point his tail was broken. I don’t mind at all to me that just gives him extra character and makes him even more a part of the family. Dutchy has half a tail, the rest of it was taken when she was but a tiny kitten by what we don’t know. Callie has an extra long tail that seems to be a tail and then the missing half of Dutchy’s as well as her “special”. One of Callie’s legs broke while still growing in the womb and never grew past that point. It healed folded over and smaller and doesn’t both her her one bit. Several vets have told me that if it doesn’t pain or hinder her and they didn’t think it was, there was no reason to put her through the stress of a big amputation surgery. Those are just some of the unique things in this family, so Misha fits right in.

It truly is nice to part some of the fog. I can see a path out and I can see the beautiful light coming through the forest trees. I will get better eventually. I will start to feel less stress. Although I do have to say I think a vacation is going to need to happen before I can feel totally refreshed and recharged.

First and foremost I want to say Happy Father’s Day to all of those out there today who take on the role of Father. Whether that means you are a bio dad, a man who stepped up to be a dad, a single mom who plays both roles, a great uncle or fur dad. Everytype of Dad gets a big shout out from me.

Sadly what makes today a mixed day for me is the loss of another life to 2016. A very young life that had barely begun to live. Anton Yelchin best known for his role as Checkov in the new Star Trek films and Fright Night has passed away. A freak accident that shows everyone just how short life really is.

Any moment could be our last and life is not a guarantee to anyone in this world. Death doesn’t care if you are young or old rich or poor when he wants to punch your ticket he is going to do it. Knowing this, knowing how short life is and what little time we really have should remind all of us to live life to the fullest. Embrace every day as if it could be the last because it is possible that it might be. Tell the people you love that you love them, take risks, love hard anything that makes life worth living. Do it. LIVE as best as you can for as long as you can.

On that note with the way this year has been going. I think someone needs to have a talk with George RR Martin.

Ah the humble potato a food loved by some and hated by others because *gasp* it is a carb! Well, you know what, I don’t care if it is a carb you will have to pry my potatoes out of my cold dead hands to take them away from me. I come from a good sturdy stock of Irish and German folk and I love my potatoes. Growing up, my family did not have a lot of money. We did not have a lot of extra’s and expensive meals out all of that, but we always had enough to eat. We were always full of good stick to your tummy meals. Even when we went on our summer week away to the lake cabin with my Great Grandma (shared costs) those tasty meals followed and often were grilled! Were they fancy? No, they sure weren’t, but they were hot, tasted good and gave me a lot of fond memories and comfort foods to take with me on my journey through life.

When it comes right down to it, I will always prefer the good ole stick to your ribs kind of meals over the fancy pants stuff you find sometimes. Why does food have to be so frilly these days? Take a stroll on pintrest and find a great many beautifully plated dishes with a million ingredients. Do not get me wrong, fancy food is good too, and it is a great treat sometimes (especially when you don’t have to cook it) but really, who has time for that? With jobs, kids, pets and everything else going on in our lives, why do we have to worry about making fancy pants well plated meals during the week as well?

I for one don’t. I want my family to eat well, as healthy as possible and have the same kind of memories built as I did when I was a kid. Despite a busy schedule of work and life in general I really do work on that comfort food for dinner. I make what I can ahead of time and have things ready to go a well, so dinner does not have to be a stressful event. Alas, I digress the humble potato is the focus here.

Why a post about potatoes? Recently as I was chatting with someone in a waiting room as I made a menu for the next week, she commented that I sure was making a lot of that “carbohydrate peasant food.” Excuse me? I wanted to beat her with my notebook, but sometimes discretion is the better part of valor and I just gave her a fairly disdainful look and moved to the other side of the room for myself. So then I started thinking about her commented and looked at my menu. Yes, there was a fair amount of potato there.

Southern fried chicken with Mash and fresh green beans
A simple pan seared pork chops with rosemary roasted potatoes and kale
Poor man’s supper (a childhood favorite of mine, it is basically a version of shepherds pie) corn, hamburger and mashed potatoes

Three meals with potatoes in a week of meals. That is not overly much to me. Seemed perfectly normal to me and my family enjoys the meals. The humble potato can be made in so many ways! It takes on so many flavors delightfully! So why is it getting flack these days? The humble potato fed the Irish and was so involved in their lives that when the great potato famine hit, so many died. From the years of 1780 and 1841 the humble potato staved off starvation of the poor Irish. One acre of potatoes could feed a family of 6 for nearly a year if rationed well and the crop was good. As meat, bread and other things vanished from the Irish table most of their meals began to consist of a potato and milk, which in it’s raw form is a super food and this made the meal completely nutritionally complete. As the potato fed the masses the population doubled in the country! Not too bad for the humble potato yes?

Sadly, in 1845 a blight hit the crop of potatoes entire crops could be lost in a matter of hours the blight was so terrible and aggressive. The people were saved that year as they slaughtered pigs, which ate up to 1/3 of the crop every year and then were able to eat the pork. However, in 1846 the blight got worse and killed around 90% of the crop. Not only did this deeply affect what people had to eat, but it prevented a new crop of potatoes from even being planted. The blight was not as bad in 1847 perhaps because of the low yield of the crop, but in 1848 and 1849 it was back and terrible. That is when the famine was to truly set in. At the end when the dust had settled 1 million people had moved to the United States while 2 million died. Death came from starvation itself as well as dysentery, cholera and other issues that people were unable to fight off due to starvation.

So next time someone gives me crap about potatoes I am going to remind them what happened when the lovely little tuber wasn’t healthy. I know this was a bit of an extreme post for something like a potato but that is just how I am rolling lately.

Wow it is Friday already, the first one of the new year. I have been doing pretty good so far this year (only three days in but I take it as a victory!) on staying on top of most of my blog duties. I have not yet set a mail challenge for this year but I plan to give it a little thought and will take care of it this weekend. As well as some other clean up and such work. With that out of the way, time to take a look at the Friday Crafty corner..and today I am focusing on what you can do with kids. Winter break (almost over I know) and Winter in general can be tough especially with cold snaps like those coming to some this weekend (I had to attach a picture!) so here are some crafts you can do with the kids to keep them occupied.

Starry, Starry Night

A real snowflake can be hard to catch, but with these toilet-paper rolls disguised as sparkly, snowy crystals, the kids can hang on to ‘em forever!

Good for ages: 4 and up

What you’ll need:
– empty toilet paper rolls (each roll makes about one star)
– scissors
– white paint
– glue
– clothespins
– white glitter

How to make it: Grab some old toilet paper rolls, and cut them into ¾” rings. Glue the tips of five rings together, and use a clothespin to hold them together as they dry. Then paint each one white. While it’s still wet, sprinkle with glitter to get the Christmas shimmer of a starry night.

You should be able to get or 6 rings (the almost look like leaves or petals from a flower)

2. Dab some glue on the tip of the ring as such and adhere it to another ring.

3. Use a clothes pin to help them dry and stay together

4. Do this all the way around until you have your desired shape (5 rings make a star and 6 make a flower). Let dry completely.

6. Sprinkle it with glitter lay it out on wax paper or somewhere clean, cool, and dry and let dry for an hour.

7. Grab a cup of your favorite beverage and enjoy the work you did.

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